Friday, April 23, 2010

ALLEGED HOPHEAD J.C. FRANCE SKATES ON A TECHNICALITY
The cynics said that France, a member of NASCAR’s nearly omnipotent ruling family, would walk on drug charges. According to this Associated Press report, they were right.

J.C. France being interviewed in happier times. Perhaps appropriately, he’s standing in front of a "Rum Bum" banner . . .


FORD RECALLS 33,256 VEHICLES ON SEAT COLLAPSE RISK

Comment: Unlike the allegations against the Evil Empire (Toyota), Ford got out ahead of NHTSA and the ambulance-chasing lawyers on this alleged safety defect. Way to be proactive, Ford!

Still, it’s a cold splash of negative news on quality right when the momentum all seemed to be flowing FoMoCo’s way.

JEEPERS CREEPERS, STEERING WITH YOUR PEEPERS? GERMAN CAR LETS YOU STEER WITH YOUR EYES

Comment: Those crazy Germans! How are young drivers going to text message while motoring with that thing?

OFFICIAL PROGRESSIVE AUTOMOTIVE X-PRIZE TESTING TO BEGIN APRIL 26, 2010 IN MICHIGAN

Comment: The run-up to the Automotive X-Prize has been so lengthy that it seemed like we’d never get to "put up or shut up" time.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST: PATE AUTOMOBILE COLLECTION TO BE AUCTIONED

Comment: Although Pate Museum of Transportation in Texas spawned the huge Pate Swap Meet, the museum collection was never one of America’s best. Still it’s sad to see another collector’s life passion being "cashed out" by heirs.

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

SPEEDZZTER ON BANGSHIFT.COM: MOTORSPORTS EDITION

(Get the latest “Truth With Speedzzter” here)

As the 2010 racing season has cranked up, Truth With Speedzzter has been honored by several “front page” commentaries on motorsports topics at Bangshift.com.

1. Top 11 Products That Should Have Motorsports Celebrity Endorsements.

2. Grading Daytona’s “Pothole 500.”

3. Here’s the Next Rulebook NASCAR Should Adopt.

4. Top 11 Things That “Jam” Bangshifters.

Truth With Speedzzter has also made significant forum commentary on the NHRA’s tragic accident at Phoenix. See also here.

Finally, in honor of Bangshift.com editor Brian Lohnes’ 30th birthday, Truth With Speedzzter adapted Billy Crystal’s famous “Value this time” monologue from “City Slickers” to reflect the typical hot rodder’s life cycle.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

SPEEDZZTER AT BANGSHIFT: RACING EDITION

[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

Over at Bangshift.com, there's been a fair number of racing topics as of late. Here's what "Truth With Speedzzter says . . . .

LEGENDS OF AUTO RACING GET RIPPED OFF BY EMPLOYEE

You'd think that as many of the "Living Legends of Auto Racing" that came out of the moonshining/bootlegging underworld, somebody would have shared the following tip:

Smile when they're snapping your mug shot.

(here's one where Indy 500 legend Bobby Unser had the right idea . . .

And so did exotic car owner Rush . . .

Saleen Mustang racer Tim "Home Improvement" Allen also knew how to "give good face" in booking photos . . . .

Even alleged hubcap thrower Tonya Harding tried to put on a happy face in the booking line . . .


And the UBER COOL Steve McQueen ("Le Mans", "Bullitt") had "the mugshot look" down to a science . . .
)

From the looks of it, alleged gambling and larceny may not be Ms. Burdick's only problems . . . .

BONUS: here's some mugshots of what your average Camaro owner looks like: (Note he's got the "smile" down in the later pix)

NHRA TO SANCTION TRACKS IN THE MIDDLE EAST

Top 11 Reasons Drag Racing's different in the Middle East**

11. Linda Vaughn and Jungle Pam in Burquas.

10. Between round teardowns in the pits must face Mecca.

9. Too many youngsters want to physically strap themselves to blown fuel Hemis.

8. Birdcatcher injector scoop renamed "Sandcatcher."

7. Ford versus Chevy rivalry to be settled with AK-47s and IEDs.

6. Starting device is called a "Great Western Imperialist's Holiday Tree."

5. All the best "tin" has been used up for car bombs.

4. Hand amputated if you're caught cheating.

3. "Baghdad Bob" rumored to be making a comeback as a track announcer (assuming he doesn't go to work for NASCAR instead). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baghdad_Bob

2. Jihadists keep driving up the price of nitromethane.

1. "Honest Ahmadinejad's Speed Shop."

**The following jokes are made in good fun and should not be taken as authoritative (or even informed) in any way on the rich and diverse cultures of the Middle East. We all hope that drag racing is a successful export to the region


NASCAR LECTURES BRAD KASELOWSKI ABOUT ROUGH DRIVING

Excerpt from top secret transcript of Brad Kaselowski's meeting in the Big Red Trailer**

Brad Kaselowski ("BK"): DUDE! I always wanted to come in here. But I though y'all had a hot tub up in here or somethin' . . . .

Max Helton: Did anyone give you permission to speak, Son?

BK: Uh . . . no, I guess not.

Brian France: Granddaddy Big Bill always said "Don't speak unless you're spoken to . . . ."

Helton: With all due respect, I'll handle this Mr. France.

France: Why of course . . . Lead on Maxarooney! Hun, you wanta git me another SoCo . . .

Miss Sprint: Certainly Mr. France.

Helton: Who do you think you are, Son! Dale Earnhardt?

France: Why no? I'm . . .

Helton: NOT YOU MR. FRANCE! I'M TALKIN' TO THAT POLISH PUNK IN THE FIRESUIT!

France: Oops! My bad. Hey baby, could you bring me some more of that catfish sushi and a banana?

Miss Sprint: My pleasure, Mr. France.

Helton: Kaselowski, I don't know what the deal is between you and Denny Hamlin and I DON'T CARE!

France: Hamlin's one of them good Toyota boys, isn't he?

BK: Well if he'd just stay out of my way . . . .

Helton: Did you forget that part about not talking! I'm about to park you so far under the grandstand that they'll have to FedEx you a NASCAR-licensed track dog! You'll have to have a golf cart just to go to the outhouse!
THIS IS NASCAR! N-A-S-C-A-R! It ain't some beatin' and bangin' dirt track series back home! Corporations . . . FORTUNE ONE FREAKIN' HUNDRED CORPORATIONS pay millions of dollars to see their cars on TELEVISION in MY show. They don't pay to see some nobody like you knockin' their NASCAR out of contention.

France: That's MY show . . . .

Helton: Sorry Mr. France. I mean, other than Mama Kaselowski, whoever heard about some goof like you until we gave you the PRIVILEGE of racing in NASCAR? There are 10,000 oval track racers in this country that would steal and kill to be where you are. And if I park you, they'll have to put your face on milk cartons to find you. Just ask that worm Mayfield! You want to join him?

BK: Well ...uh . . .I

Helton: Are you stupid, Boy? I didn't give you permission to speak!

France: You kinda did ask him a question . . .

Helton: It was a RHETORICAL QUESTION Mr. France. Kaselowski, I don't want you to even DREAM about rubbin' on anything Hamlin runs.

France: Granddaddy Big Bill used to say "Rubbin' is racin.'"

Helton: That was "Days of Thunder," Mr. France. And rubbin's going to be racin' back to nowhere for Kaselowski. YOU GOT THAT, BOY! If you so much as even ENTERTAIN A FLEETING THOUGHT about putting a bumper to ANYBODY, I'll know about it and you'll be running mini-stocks in Des Moines faster than you took Talladega!

France: Now if you want to give the ol' "Chrome Horn" to somebody . . . how about hittin' the 48 . . . he's really stinkin' up the show . . . .

Helton: (shakes head) Just forget he said that. You WILL NOT REPEAT IT to anyone. NOT EVEN TO MR. HENDRICK! You will say that you were "happy to have this meeting" and that you're pleased with everything NASCAR has ever done, and this meeting was a ""good sign for the sport."
You are dismissed!

**This is satire. It has no basis whatsoever in fact and should not be viewed in any way as intending to make any representations of fact about any person, event or place.
* * * *
Quote from: SpiderGearsMan: "speed installs nascar reruns on the schedule as rally fia has poor ratings"

Spidey,anybody who has ever seen an infomercial running on Speed should realize that ratings aren't the primary factor in programming.

Speed broadcasts seemingly endless amounts of trivial NASCAR programming because its parent, News Corp, made a ridiculous multi-year contract with NASCAR before the roof caved in. "The combined TV rights fee for Fox, ESPN and Turner averages $560 million a year through 2014. Additionally, each of the networks has a multimillion-dollar spend with NASCAR Media Group, which manages the TV compound at each venue and provides additional content, such as unique camera angles and audio."

Of course broadcasting the actual races is what drives the "deal." All of the mind-numbing ancillary programing merely makes use of the assets already on the ground to amortize their bloated costs. Given the fact that 55-60 cameras, the on-air talent, and the production crew are already on-site for the race,televising practices (YAWN) , single car qualifying (Zzzzz), and all the insipid pre-race/post-race/talk/game shows (Coma) at the track has a relatively low programming cost-per-minute.

Moreover, the advertising sales people can sell NASCAR sponsors multi-channel "package deals" they claim "leverage" the obscene investments that some of these sponsors have made into the sport (Note: NASCAR sponsorship probably still obtains a justifiable return on investment for large consumer products companies if they're primary sponsors for a team in the Chase or a "big name" in the sport, even with the growing numbers of empty seats in the stands and declining television ratings).

Reruns on cable are even cheaper. Original FIA programming would clearly be more expensive and would lack the "package deal" advertising aspect. Speed Channel's adverstising sales staff would have to go out and sell the ad time without the "leverage your NASCAR investment" sales pitch. That's a tougher job.

No NASCAR show on cable currently obtains noteworthy "mainstream" ratings.

The creation of a "NASCAR TV channel within a channel" was a key component of the "relaunch" of Speedvision into "Speed TV" in 2002. NASCAR was still booming back then and News Corp wanted something that would double the channel's penetration into cable homes (around half of all cable homes didn't get Speedvision). It made sense back then. Whether it does now is another, closely-guarded question. But the "NASCAR TV" concept seems to be moving from cable to the internet.

Speed, like ESPN, desparately hopes for NASCAR's permission to televise more live NASCAR racing under the multi-year deal. Thus, they also likely run much of the low-rated ancillary "sustaining" programs in order to improve the positions of their "brands" in the minds of NASCAR's media bosses.

In short, Speed's excessive programming of NASCAR content is driven more by other business factors than mere ratings.


2009 OPTIMA ULTIMATE STREET CAR INVITATIONAL

Almost 45 years later and Powered by Ford Cobras are still laying waste to the Chevrolets!

There should now be some disappointed Pro Touring car owners with a new understanding of concepts like power-to-weight, weight distribution, center of gravity, roll axis, and polar moment of inertia.

BTW, did Brad Kaselowski stop by to help Kinnan's HRM Factory 5 '34 [oops, I mean '33] off the track?


Quote from: zombie289 "Can't have a Pro-Wank shootout without show judging... one needs to justify the 5 axis CNC'd titanium hose clamps!"

Well said! Pro Wank . . . uh . . . Pro Touring is often too much about "boy racer" stylin' over actual performance. Appearance is not factored into the results of a drag racing competition. So why should they be a factor in other forms of vehicle dynamics competition?
* * * *
BIZARRE EBAY FIND: 1967 OLDSMOBILE AIRPORT LIMO

The 1967 Wagon Queen Family Truckster! How on earth did Clark Griswold miss out on that one?

Of course if you had a couple of spare Allison V1710 V12s lying around . . . or a TV Tommy Ivo's Showboat quantity of big blocks . . . that rig might make the foundation for the sickest mid-engined "gasser" ever!

And if you didn't want to jack it sky-high on a beam or tube front axle, you could plop an GMC blower on the 455 and leave it powering the nose, just like the Hairy Hurst Olds!

And with ~ 5000 h.p., that thing might even get down the strip before sundown . . . .

Of course because I remember when these "airport limos" were still in service and I figure some kid in the 22nd Century needs to see this freak in its original infamy, I'd probably just wimp out with a safe date-code resto.

INDIANAPOLIS MOTOR SPEEDWAY CHAIRMAN LOOKS TO MAKE SWEEPING CHANGES

Jeff Belskus probably will never see any advice from old Bangshifters (and doesn't want it anyway) . . . but there are four interrelated things that would save Indy-style open wheel racing from itself:

1. Increased car counts
2. Maintaining close competition (one of the IRL's few successes)
3. Huge reductions in costs
4. More engine suppliers

The way to accomplish these goals is to develop a new "open source" tube-frame car formula that thousands of ordinary short track racers can understand and even build on real-world budgets (and which isn't very dependant on aerodynamics for grip), powered by highly-regulated, lightly turbocharged versions of CURRENT production engines. And ban carbon fiber. And marble-producing "gumball" tires.

If this sounds like a partial return to slower speeds and the "junkyard formula" that helped Indy survive the Great Depression, you're probably right.

On the other hand, if there are 50-100 cars showing up trying to qualify, a healthy number of regional racing series running the new "Indy" formula, more sponsors because of a reduced "buy-in" cost, and a burgeoning number of local "hot shots" with a realistic dream to move up to Indy racing, ticket sales and TV ratings should skyrocket.

(Some may think turbocharging is inconsistent with this "back to basics" idea. But suitably small, cheap, spec production turbos could regulate power levels, widen torque curves for passing, allow for "push to pass" systems, improve engine reliability (more power with less RPM) and reasonably limit noise levels. Besides turbocharging was a tradition at the Speedway until Tony George ruined everything)

I probably ought to note that this flies in the face of Peter M. DeLorenzo's prescription for Indy:


Imagine for a moment that the new rules package for the 2012 Indianapolis 500 consisted of a one paragraph statement instead of an inch-thick book. Imagine if everything was "free" in terms of engine design, chassis construction, materials, propulsion, etc., as long as the cars fit into a dimensional envelope established by the Speedway and met the required safety criteria.

And then imagine that every car must average 15 miles per gallon -- or an equivalent energy use formula for non-ethanol-powered machines -- over the course of qualifying and the entire 500-mile race distance.


Of course the idea that any Indy car could competitively achieve more than seven times the current level of fuel efficiency by 2012 (much less 33 of them) is about as realistic as "Godzilla versus Mothra." It would reduce Indy to an "economy run" among a hyper-expensive group of freakish "X-Prize" racers.

And it would likely make those Bangshifters who want to "burn a pile of tires" everytime they hear about "greenhouse gas emissions" empty their jerry cans and fire up their Bics. In short, DeLorenzo's idea is not a realistic formula that would sell 300,000 tickets or lead to long-term success.

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Friday, October 02, 2009

SPEEDZZTER DEBATES A NASCAR FAN (WHO STYLES LIKE e.e. cummings)

[Get the latest “Truth With Speedzzter here]

Mention NASCAR’s malaise, its move away from actual “stock car” racing to a “common everything” spec racer series, and NASCAR’s glacial pace of technological change in comparison to OEM production cars, and you’ll often trigger a spirited debate.

The following are excerpts from just such a debate over at www.bangshift.com.

Speedzzter.blogspot (September 23, 2009): [Joined in progress]

If they went back to racing ACTUAL PRODUCTION-BASED STOCK CARS under a reasonable rule package, it wouldn't cost $40,000,000 a year to field a team.

NASCAR could learn plenty from V8 Supercar racing down under.

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SpiderGearsMan (September 23, 2009):

yeah road racing is really packin them in here , the last grand american race on tv loooked like it was in an abandoned parking lot
aussie racing ? yeah , the run the LS motor down there , but road racing is not major league in the USA
dirt tracks get bigger crowds , which sprint cup should be doing

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Speedzzter.blogspot (September 23, 2009):

The sort of things that NASCAR could learn from V8 Supercar racing are:

1. Production-based sedans can still put on a good, close show. And the fans can relate better to race cars that are based on what they can buy.

2. Multiple races on a weekend (think short track-style heat races) are more exciting than a bunch of boring practice (Why does Speed TV waste air time on it?), single car qualfying (Yawn. Same question) and a long, overblown "A Main" event.

3. Forcing the OEMs to stay in the homologated "production" box is the best way to control costs and tighten up competition.

4. A variety of tracks (not more cookie-cutters) is good. Very good.

5. There's no valid technical reason why the driver's door cannot open now. (It's not 1950 anymore. Better latches, cages, and safety seats can portect the drivers well enough without all the "traditional" "Dukes of Hazard" theatrics)

There are lots of reasons why the "gate" for road racing isn't what it should be. (And I wasn't suggesting that NASCAR should become a road course series) On the other hand, anyone who has been to a NASCAR road race or to a well-established tradition such as Sebring can testify that Americans will watch road course events under the right circumstances.

Attendance at Grand-Am events is hardly indicative because they have a terrible TV package, minimal tradition, poor promotion, confusing class structures (the Koni Challenge cars never run in prime time) and few, if any stars known outside of the discrete and insular world of Grand-Am followers.

One should note that NASCAR Cup attendance wasn't all that great until it became a TV phenomenon in the 1980s. They used to only have about 25,000 seats at places like Bristol and Martinsville. And places like Texas World Speedway near Houston couldn't hardly give away tickets.

Dirt doesn't work on TV very well (too "dirty," ugly pictures), but NASCAR was better back when they had a few dirt shows to spice up the schedule (Before Winston brought in the "modern era" and killed the mid-week shows)

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SpiderGearsMan (September 25, 2009):

nascar should return to inline valve engines, too
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Speedzzter.blogspot (September 29, 2009):

Why not just return to flatheads and 1938-40 Ford coupe bodies? That's what they ran when NASCAR first started.

A better plan than staying stuck in 1975 would be to race what's actually for sale to the general public (with proper safety upgrades that is)
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SpiderGearsMan (October 30, 2009):

you forget olds and chryslerhemis were the cars to beat in the first years of grand nationals flatheads are farm implement motors that were obsolete in the post war era
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Speedzzter.blogspot (September 29, 2009):

Yeah, that would explain why the flathead 6-equipped Hudson Hornet won half of the NASCAR Manufacturer's championships before 1955.

http://www.legendsofnascar.com/Hudson.htm;

http://www.popularmechanics.com/automotive/motorsports/4303620.html?page=9


BTW, the architect of Hudson's success in NASCAR was one VINCE PIGGINS. http://www.hemmings.com/mus/stories/2005/07/01/hmn_feature8.html

Bangshifters know Piggins later went on to run Chevrolet's clandestine motorsports operations (in violation of the AMA Ban and the 1963 GM Board's insistence upon abiding by it. Much of the reason that GM had so much success after factory support for NASCAR and drag racing dried up in the 1970s was the "heavy duty" parts operation that Piggins, Zora Arkus-Duntov and their co-conspirators had already put into place to circumvent the corporate "no racing" edict.)

Actually the flathead was technically obsolete as soon as the world had seen Peugeot's DOHC during the 1913 racing season. Jules Goux won the Indianapolis 500 in 1913 with a 4-valve Peugeot. Every four-valve powerplant from that day forward, including such legends as the 1967 Ford-Cosworth DFV and the venerable Offenhauser, owes much of their basic concept to a 1913 Peugeot!

But flatheads were cheap, easy to build, and made adequate power for ordinary driving.

Henry Ford's breakthrough of a cheap monoblock flathead V8 wasn't that much technological. (Even arch competitor Chevrolet had overhead valves) It was a breakthrough in price because it made V8s available to the masses.

Nor was Chevrolet's "Motoramic" 1955 V8 much of a technological breakthrough. It was merely a cheap-to-build, elegantly-simple application of mostly decades-old ideas.

The amazing thing was that the "Motoramic" '55 Chevrolet only won a handful of NASCAR events that year. Oldsmobile won the Manufacturers Championship while Chrysler had the most series wins (27). But from the overhyped advertising of the day, Chevy made it sound like they were dominating, blowing its occassional wins all out of proportion.

Chevrolet never won a championship until 1958 (after GM had conned everyone into the infamous 1957 A.M.A. racing ban on factory sponsored motorsports -- a ban that GM cheated on like Bill Clinton at a college sorority house. (BTW, Ford won the 1956 and 1957 Manufacturers Championship. Ford also won seven straight Championships in the 1960s (1963-1969).

Sadly because Ford killed virtually all factory support of motorsports and "Muscle Parts" programs in November 1970, Chevrolet caught up and passed Ford in the number of championships in the 1970s and 1980s.

Ford's stupid decision to pull out of racing meant that it would not win another NASCAR Manufacturers Championship until 1992. Ford was basically splitting Manufacturers Championships with GM in the late '90s and early 2000s, but NASCAR's legalization of the "cheater" SB2 and RO7 engines tipped the scales too far in GM's direction.)

My point was that picking out some era of history and tying racing to it probably says more about the nostalgia and manufacturer loyalties of the proponent than the inherent technological efficacy of that era.

If we're turning back the calendar to "fix" racing from the scourge of "technology," then the flathead has just as much or more of claim than does OHV engines.

It's real simple, folks:

Production car with a factory VIN + driver's safety pod + cage + bolt-ons (factory spindles and wheels just won't take pounding of the high banks) = Real Stock Car = Fan interest = relevant to "Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday" = fixes NASCAR.

Any questions?

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SpiderGearsMan:

they haven't been that way since 1965
why the problem now , buckaroo ?
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Speedzzter.blogspot:

And that was bad.

It was some of what started us down this slippery slope that's crashed into the hideous "COT" heap. But at least the Holman-Moody "3/4 chassis" Fairlanes looked like something you could buy at your local Ford store. Too bad they were "reskinned" every year and/or ended up getting beat to death on some forgotten dirt track.

The COT looks like something that ought to be sitting out back with a recycling symbol on the side.

NASCAR, and to a lesser extent NHRA, have been horrible for automotive development in America.

Examples: Supercharger and fuel injection ban (don't even think about a turbo), 7 liter displacement limit of the 1960s, rules against multiple values and overhead cams, rules against more than five speeds, IRS ban & the antique "truck arm" suspension. All of these things have hurt technology "trickle down" and market pressure for advancing the state-of-the-art in production cars.
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SpiderGearsMan:

we as gearheads worship 1969 tech

does efi - irs -bigger tires make the racing better ? hell no
too much aero tech and downforce have ruined the racing
your favorite barge - the mustang - eschews weak ass IRS in favor of a live axle
we love live axles - we love . . . holley double pumpers
every short track car runs ft v8 - 4 speed - rwd
hell , a lot of oval track cars run quick change rears featuring 1938 ford gears and wide 5 hubs on the 37 ford bolt pattern
tradition is huge in this sport
the people attached to it
like ron sperry designs the chev heads
that the double pumper was designed by ralph johnson in smokey's shop
that the super t 10 came in my new trans am
that ed cole and harry barr designed the sbc
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Speedzzter.blogspot:
Spidey, I'll agree with you that IRS is of limited value for sedan racing as long as the track is smooth. I can see no value for IRS in drag racing. Thus, Mustang's beam axle give it an advantage over Camaro for street/strip duty.

But circle track racing has ossified and mostly lost its relevance to the streets because the rule packages limit technical advancement.

BTW, I love sprint cars and watch several sprint car shows live every year at my local track.

But, it makes no sense to me that a kid who loves dirt can't go pull a EFI V8 out of a salvage, rebuild it, and run in the Bomber or Factory Stock class. It makes no sense that only two-valve pushrod engines are "stock legal" when Detroit has built millions of OHC engines during the past twenty years.

As for keeping costs low with "1969 tech" -- it doesn't. Most competitors running a carb'd SBC have spent thouands on aftermarket parts. Every "wide-five" you see at the speedway is an aftermarket reproduction. Most all of those four-speeds still running are pro-built racing transmissions from Tex or Jerico or someone else.

And I place most of the blame on the leadership of NASCAR. A leadership which over the decades lost their grip on what made "stock car" racing attractive to the general public. The local tracks follow NASCAR's lead. And NASCAR's focus on purpose-built, non-production "common" spec everything has lead us into a black hole.

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Thursday, August 06, 2009

NO CAMARO "FUNNYCAR" FOR NASCAR NATIONWIDE SERIES

[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

According to the Orlando Sentnel and Bangshift.com Chevrolet has told NASCAR that it will not submit its "iconic" Camaro for the horrendous "common-template" "FunnyCar of Tomorrow" treatment to race in the NASCAR Nationwide Series.

The New Bow-tie brigade doesn't want the already cartoonish Camaro to be further diluted and distorted into a "NASCAR" cartoon-car. "New GM" Racing's head honcho Mark Kent told the Orlando Sentnel's Steven Cole:

[W]e felt that by forcing the Camaro into the Nationwide templates that we were compromising the body lines of an iconic car. So at the end of the day we just could not get the Camaro in the Nationwide series to satisfy our requirements.


That's a laudable show of design integrity for "Government Motors."

[But does this mean that we'll never see a "Camaro" flopper in NHRA funny car competition?]

Too bad Ford didn't take the same stance in protecting the design integrity of its Mustang from the aesthetically-bankrupt butchers at NASCAR.

The hideous common-template "FunnyCar of Tomorrow" idea has destroyed what little was left of "Stock Car" racing.

Racing RWD "Pony Cars" in the Nationwide Series only really made sense if they were production-based.

However, sipping the COT Kool-Aid (tm), Mark Kent parroted the NASCAR talking point about "quest for very close competition" creating "the need to have templated bodies in that series." That's just wrong. It's amazing that production-based cars race competitively in series all over the world (even sometimes in the U.S.A.). And Mark Kent knows that. Perhaps he was just unwilling to acknowledge what millions of racing fans already know: that "the emperor has no clothes" when it comes to the weak justifications for NASCAR's spec-racer COT.

NASCAR lost the "groove" of what makes a stock car "stock" (and identifiable to the "Walter Mittys" in the stands) so long ago, it seems impossible for them to recover now.

Yet because of NASCAR's monopoly on racing venues through International Speedway Corporation (ISC), NASCAR's corporate sister, and the tight regulation of racing dates to non-ISC tracks, not to mention NASCAR's 800-lb gorilla dominance of the motorsports television market, it is virtually impossible to develop a viable competitor to NASCAR.

NASCAR's monopoly needs to be broken up under anti-trust laws and real production car racing returned to America's speedways.

Sadly, Chevrolet didn't completely tell "[t]he folks in the palace of pure thought down there in Daytona" to "step off." Instead, the GM Racing gang said they'd sticker-up their "NASCAR" with Impala decals.

They probably figure that few will object to faking up some FWD 'box into a cartoonish "COT."

However, Chevrolet's acquiescence to the COT concept merely delays the time when real, production-based stock car racing returns to America and the POX of the Common-template is eradicated.

But at least Chevrolet took an obvious "baby step" that Ford and Chrysler were seemingly too timid to take.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

2010 NASCAR MUSTANG: A NOT-SO-HUMOROUS "FUNNYCAR"
[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

Autoblog has posted the Ford Racing press release and initial photo of the 2010 NASCAR Nationwide Series "Mustang."

[Warning: the photograph at the following link may cause any number of side effects ranging from uncontrollable laughter to nausia and vomiting, depending upon how much you revere Mustangs and the discarded concept of "stock car" racing . . . ] See http://www.autoblog.com/2009/07/28/ford-mustang-is-officially-nascar-bound-in-the-nationwide-seri/

Calling this "Nationwide" aesthetic abortion a "funny car" is an insult to proper NHRA funny cars. While John Force's "Mustangs" have a distorted, stretched, jacked and pulled look about them, at least they still remotely resemble a cartoon of a production Mustang.

But the 2010 Nationwide "Mustang" looks like it was designed by some Chinese "dollar toy" maker attempting to avoid a "trade dress" lawsuit or licensing fees. It's almost as if a handful of Mustang graphics were printed on a generic one-size-fits-all car cover and the mess was shrink-wrapped around a buck for NASCAR's common-template "Car of Tomorrow. Yuck!

Perhaps the reason it's scheduled for a "limited rollout" is that nobody can look at it long enough to build them full-time.

NASCAR's Mike Helton, of course, sees nothing wrong.

"We're excited about the new car in the NASCAR Nationwide Series, and particularly the new body styles such as the Ford Mustang," said NASCAR President Mike Helton. "It's going to be one good-looking race car."


Time for an eye exam, Mike. (Of course some will conclude that it's hard for Mike to see anything when his head is . . . . [fill in your own punchline])

Perhaps the old saw needs to be revised: Instead of "Race on Sunday, sell on Monday," it should "Race on Saturday, Spend all day Sunday trying to forget what horrors you saw, and sell on Monday (if you can get a "Cash for Clunkers" welfare voucher, that is) . . . ."

What a mess!

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

MAX MOSLEY AND BRIAN FRANCE: TWO PEAS IN A ROTTEN POD?

[Get the latest “Truth With Speedzzter” here]

Max Mosley and Brian France seem to want to destroy what’s left of the top two series in motorsports.

Although Formula One (F1) is an also-ran in the United States of America, it remains the biggest motorsports stage in the rest of the world. Max Mosley, boss of the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA), is locked into a multi-billion dollar game of “chicken” with Scuderia Ferrari and F1's other participating automakers, who are organized as the Formula One Teams Association (FOTA). According to the FIA, the dispute “goes to the fundamentals of Formula One.”

It is about technical freedom. It is recognition by the FIA and several teams that you can have technical freedom - the freedom to innovate - or you can have freedom to spend without limit. But you cannot sustain both.

According to FOTA, “the FIA's proposals are bad for the future of Formula One, the jobs of those employed within the motor-racing industry and especially the millions of loyal fans who are dismayed and confused at the internal bickering within our sport.”
The FIA wants a budget cap of “around $60 million” per team, starting in the 2010 season. Ferrari, who spends an estimated half-billion Euros per year on F1, and the other big budget teams in FOTA reject the across-the-board budget cap approach, but apparently want specific regulations to reduce costs in targeted areas.

Of course, “technical freedom” is a canard. Is “freedom” really all that free if there’s a budget cap? Of course not!

Given the total domination of Mercedes-powered Brawn GP in general and Jensen Button in particular so far in the 2009 season, the FIA-FOTA fight is probably the most competitive and interesting aspect now in Formula One. However, if the sad history of American open wheel racing can be taken as a guide, an owners-versus-sanctioning body bloodletting invariably ends up damaging the sport.

Formula One would not be Formula One without Ferrari, BMW, Mercedes, Renault (of course the Evil Empire (Toyota), like Honda, would hardly be missed). Fan interest in the series is inexorably linked to the participation of these marque manufacturers. The value and legitimacy of Formula One as the technological and competitive pinnacle of World motor racing tied to the continued participation of these teams.

Yet unless disaster is somehow averted in posh, clubby continental backrooms or in the World Motor Sport Council, Max Mosley seemingly has put F1 on a course wherein some or all of the FOTA teams (who are now only provisionally entered in the 2010 championship) could be absent in the near future.

Back in the parochial new world of “the Colonies,” Brian France is overreacting to the bankruptcies of General Motors and Chrysler by suggesting that the formerly all-American sport of “stock car racing” could be diluted even further with more “sticker-engineered,” non-production, NASCAR-spec, FunnyCars-of-Tomorrow entered by other foreign manufactures.

France has already alienated untold numbers of long-time, traditional “stock car” fans with all the greedy, open-arms pandering toward the Evil Empire (Toyota), the establishment of common template/common-specification, non-production “NASCARs” and the wholesale destruction of many other storied “stock car” traditions.

Now Bozo Brian wants to compound those errors by turning NASCAR into a battle between fake “NASCARs” badged as Hyundais, Hondas and Toyotas. Perhaps even Koenigsegg, the new owners of GM’s Saab Division, or Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co., the buyers of GM’s Hummer Division, would even be welcomed into “Our NASCAR (tm)” family!

Apparently these later generations of the dictatorial France family are not satisfied with their decades of retarding technological development in American motoring and motorsports. They are not satisfied with handing the keys to this formerly American heartland, grassroots sport to a handful of corporate superteams, the Evil Empire’s invaders and their gutless, self-centered, anti-American collaborators (i.e. Joe Gibbs, Micheal Waltrip). Now the Frances want to completely “internationalize” their fading, archaic brand of non-production, carbureted, pushrod V8, silhouette FunnyCar racing. They want to dilute the series by allowing even more foreign automakers who have never, ever offered a RWD V8 muscle car for sale to the general public "total access" to the NASCAR spec-racer “Sticker-Car” formula.

More deep pocketed, anti-American invaders funding huge factory superteams fielding look-a-like fake “stock cars” that the fans cannot relate to in any way is the last thing that NASCAR needs. Yet the third generation France family, who hold an effective monopoly on major-league sedan racing in America, could apparently care less about what the majority of long-suffering fans want (e.g. a return to racing of identifiable, production-based American-built cars from American-based manufacturers by American owner-drivers and smaller teams on a variety of tracks).

Max Mosley and Brian France are both playing a dangerous game. Both are pushing unpopular “change” that is certain to further alienate critical stakeholders. Both are unwisely tampering with the fundamentals of their respective series. Both have seemingly lost sight of why millions of fans invested their time and their recreation dollars into Formula One and NASCAR in the first place. They seem to be two peas in a pod rotten by corrosive hubris, arrogance, and wholesale detachment from their ultimate “customers.”

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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"BIG ED" WHITACRE "DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CARS"

[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

On a surreal spring day when a President that was first boosted by the infamous "Chicago Machine," crushed his opponents, shredded the Constitution, and rammed through the transfer of Chrysler to an Italian conglomerate (sometimes known as "Fix It Again Tony") and the U.A.W.'s Voluntary Employee Benefits Association, the proposed chairman of the Obama Administration's other automotive ward, "Government Motors," proudly announced "I don’t know anything about cars.”

Perhaps that made him overqualified for Obama's Car Czar Central Committee of appliance motorists and bus riders.

Of course GM has already tried the "know-nothing-but-it's-just-a-business" approach in 1992-1995 with "Toothpaste King" John Smale. The results were unmitigated disaster.

But among the arrogant looter class of which President Obama was a proud "community organizer," chairing the GM board apparently doesn't require knowing the difference between a Corvette and a Chevette. It certainly does not require any demonstrated comptence or vision in the automotive field or any background in designing, engineering, manufacturing, or selling motor cars.

Perhaps we're lucky that Joe Biden didn't get the job. Of course Gaffe-mouth Joe owns a Corvette, so he's probably overqualified.

All "Big Ed" really needs to know is that Obama, Rahm Emanuel, the greeniacs, and the EPA are "large and in charge." And all "Big Ed" really has to understand is that "the mission" is to build enough tiny, electro-magic fuel sippers (that the market really doesn't want) to pay off the U.A.W. and ensure Obama's reelection.

In other words, it's the "What a Wonderful World" view of management:

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the french I took

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be

[With apologies to Sam Cooke]

Whether the automotive community will really "love Big Ed" remains to be seen. But it is consistent with the entire Inside-the-Beltway approach to the auto business to put someone in charge that hasn't even proven he can change a tire on his own.

Whitacre might be good news for fans of GM's participation in NASCAR, though. Although some have suggested that the Obama Administration will force GM and Chrysler out of NASCAR at the end of 2009, Whitacre's AT&T, nee SBC Communications, nee Southwestern Bell Telephone Co. saw the value of NASCAR racing. Perhaps "Big Ed" was paying attention at the meetings discussing the NASCAR sponsorship. Whitacre is also an Exxon-Mobil board member, which is another company that has dabbled from time to time in motorsports sponsorships.

And NASCAR's BRIAN FRANCE arguably "don't know much" about running a sanctioning body, so that gives him something in common with "Big Ed."

Still, helming the GM board is a poor place to serve an apprenticeship in the auto business. Of course, most of us also thought that the White House was ill-suited for on-the-job training prior to the emergence of the mulatto reprise of "Camelot."

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

CAN NASCAR BE FIXED?

[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

NASCAR's over-publicized closed-door meetings following the debacle at the Memorial Day UN-Classic "Coca-Cola 340" have now come and gone. The ideas, if any, of the superteams and the scripted, prepackaged millionaire "star" drivers are now rattling around in the seemingly empty heads of the NASCAR bosses.

Did NASCAR actually listen? More importantly, will NASCAR someday listen to racing fans, who are the ones that really are paying the billions (directly and indirectly) for the "show?"

Truth With Speedzzter doubts it.

Undoubtedly NASCAR will take some action to prop up the status quo. It will be mostly window dressing and will not address the growing structural problems that undermine fan interest in "stock car" racing.

The real question is, can NASCAR BE SAVED FROM ITSELF?

If NASCAR is to be saved, fundamental changes are necessary.

Here's a few of the problems (and some modest solutions):

1. The fans cannot identify with the cars anymore.

Solution: return to production-based race cars and engines; dump the "common template" FUNNYCar-of-Tomorrow (COT).

2. The fans cannot identify with the superteams.

Solution: return to production-based race cars and dump the "common template" COT so that 100+ crewmen and engineers aren't necessary to run a "Cup team;" Force the superteams to disclose all of their engine, chassis and body specifications to the public on the Internet (which wouldn't really be a problem with a more production-based formula) and to sell cars and engines to whomever wants to buy them (or require participating OEMs to sell turnkey NASCAR racers, similar to Ford Racing's FR500 Mustangs); Ban the "big rig" transporters and put strict limits on crew sizes; institute a separate championship award for single car teams; Limit the number of chassis and engines that a team can use for a season (tracked with VIN numbers and permanent markings).

3. The fans cannot identify with all of the "riding instead of racing" and stroking.

Solution: return to production-based race cars and dump the "common template" COT so that there's a greater possibility of passing; cut the maximum engine size to 300 cid, require modern OEM production EFI V8s and allow production OHC/DOHC; change the points system to encourage more battling for the lead: payout prize money and points based on position at the 1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and full race distances.

4. The fans cannot identify with cookie-cutter tracks.

Solution: fewer visits to the "McOvals;" protect the unique, historic "Wrigley Field' tracks like Darlington, Martinsville, Bristol, Richmond and Dover; ban new ovals longer than 3/4 miles; Put more short tracks and wide road courses on the schedule; institute a "cup" class at the 24 Hours of Daytona.

5. The fans cannot identify with highway robbery ticket prices.

Solution: Cut the prices; Get rid of the Camping World Trucks and the Nationwide Series and make all of the support series races run "cup-spec" cars; add more variety to events (i.e. "Roval" support or qualifying races for an oval "cup" event; run an event or two on dirt).

6. The fans cannot identify with rain delays and cheap, rain-shortened wins.

Solution: Rain tires and windshield wipers. Red flag only torrential downpours. Cut the points and prize money awarded for rain-shortened races.

7. The fans cannot identify with single-file, "follow the leader" "racing."

Solution: Double file restarts or perhaps even Indy/WOO-style 3-wide restarts at some tracks; encourage development of an OEM production KERS system for "push to pass" power boosts; allow production-based six-speed transmissions with multiple top-gear ratios so that drivers will have an Indy-style option of a cruising gear and a passing gear.

8. The fans cannot identify with single car qualifying and the protected "Top-35" rule.


Solution: Qualifying heats and fields inverted on season points.

9. The fans cannot identify with "Toyotas" in NASCAR.

Solution: Limit the series to U.S.-Headquartered manufacturers and cars designed and built in North America; require current, production-based car engines (no truck engines; no "clean sheet" racing engines; no "common-template" engines).

10. The fans cannot identify with "the aero push."

Solution: return to production-based race cars and dump the "common template" COT; raise the ride height; reduce downforce and make the cars more dependent upon mechanical grip; reduce speeds at most tracks with smaller engines and reduced aerodynamic "slickness" (increased drag); return to harder bias-ply tires that produce fewer "marbles," are more "forgiving," and which will smoke when over-driven in the corners; force track owners to repave and/or prepare their tracks for multiple grooves.

Don't count on much, if any, of this happening. NASCAR is dead and the France Family apparently has no clue how to reanimate the frigid corpse.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

TOYOTA STEALS A SOGGY ONE IN CHARLOTTE

[Get the latest Truth With Speedzzter here]

The fiftieth running of the World/Coca-Cola 600 at Lowe's Motor Speedway, nee Charlotte, was idiomatic of the corpse that used to be NASCAR.

The 600 was supposed to be the capstone of the greatest single day of Motorsports for the year. Instead, it failed to launch due to weather. Tuning in the next day, viewers saw a forgettable race to half-way on the prototypical 1.5 mile "cookie-cutter" oval that was dominated by the traitorous Joe Gibbs "Toyota Camry" FUNNYCar-of-Tomorrow aimed by the universally-loathed Kyle "Rowdy" Busch. A couple of dozen laps after the event was "official" in the apparently raisin-size minds of the NASCAR officials, it started raining again.

In a legendary display of short-sightedness, all but three cars on the lead lap pitted, gifting the eventual win to Toyota's David Reutimann -- the first lead lap team with enough common-sense not to stop under the rain caution.

A few observations about the "Coca-Cola 340 1/2"

1. To NASCAR and all of those folks who say "rain tires won't work" on ovals: Have you ever seen the Rolex 24 at Daytona? (Hint: Rain tires are often used on the "ROVAL" -- and the cars do not slide off of the banking in the rain).

Real men race in the rain. It's the same for all of the competitors.

Overpaid, overrated prima donnas, such as most of NASCAR's plastic-homogenized-scripted-stroker-ace "drivers," cower at the sight of mere sprinkles, whine about anything but "perfect" weather, and do silly "rain dances" to cheat the fans out of the racing they paid to see.

2. What a "Reutimann awakening" for all of those brain-dead crewchiefs from Hendrick and Roush who apparently forgot everyone was racing to half-way . . . .

Carl Edwards and FORD threw away the win by following Rowdy down into the pits when anyone with the Weather Channel should have figured out that the "24 Hours of Charlotte" race was OVER (except for the made-for-TV "drama" of waiting). At least Toyota had sense enough to leave one of their backmarkers out to STEAL THE WIN. Sadly, Jack Roush and Ford cannot figure out how to use their cars strategically . . . . (Thankfully Roush and his thoughtless crewchiefs weren’t in charge of beating the Japanese in WWII. )

3. Seemingly most of the Fox TV announce crew is beholden to Toyota in some way (ensuring about two hours of tedious, televised lobbying to "call" the race with a hideous Waltrip-owned Toyota "FunnyCar of Tomorrow" in the lead) Apparently there are no conflict-of-interest rules in the tiresome joke that has become NASCAR.

4. Fox TV has about the worst possible "rain delay" fill package. At times, a blue screen and white noise would have been better than the repetitive bilge pumped out by Waltrip, McReynolds and Co. Thankfully, Fox, Waltrip, Digger and the whole mess are about to go off-the-air until 2010 (and not a lap too soon).

5. Fox's 50th Anniversary "package" on Charlotte skipped from the mid-1960s until the 2000s. Short-sighted and weak.

All in all, the "COKE 340" was about as bad a "show" as NASCAR can deliver nowadays.

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Monday, March 30, 2009

FORD STINKS UP THE SHORT TRACKS

[Get the latest Truth With Speedzzter here]

Bristol and Martinsville are probably not two favorite words in Ford Racing Boss Brian Wolfe's vocabulary these days.

To the dwindling number of Americans who "cling to guns and religion" and the rotting corpse of NASCAR after the corporations looted it and Brian France did his dead-level best to gift-wrap it for Toyota, Bristol and Martinsville represent the sort of action-packed short tracks that are the backbone of American oval racing. Thus, their importance is far out of proportion to their diminutive sizes.

In fact, Bristol and Martinsville are a welcome respite from the bland, "cookie-cutter" 1.5 mile ovals that predominate the homogenized, shrink-wrapped, sleep-inducing SPRINT CUP FUNNYCAR-OF-TOMORROW schedule.

And after a big debut for the Roush-Fenway Fords in 2009, Brian Wolfe was undoubtedly optimistic that Ford Racing's new parsimonious strategy might actually pan out.

Then the traitorous Joe Gibbs "Toyota Camry" common-template FunnyCar-of-tomorrow, aimed by the almost universally-loathed "Rowdy" Kyle Busch, took over for a triad of forgettable races (probably much to the satisfaction of the hapless Brian France and the sushi-eaters in NASCAR's luxury corporate boxes)

It should be noted that Rowdy's Tokyo Reign did little if anything to improve attendance at NASCAR's weekly WWE-On-Wheels "shows."

And at Bristol and Martinsville, Ford's NASCAR efforts crashed and burned bigger than a Pinto rammed by an 80,000-pound semi.

[No] Boogity, [No] Boogity, [No] Boogity.

Perhaps the only way Ford could have done worse (other than just wimping out as they did in November 1970) would be to put Toyota's crash-prone Michael Waltrip in a Fusion-FunnyCar-of-Tomorrow . . . .

In fact, at Martinsville, Ford was so uncompetitive that it placed only a pair of cars in the top twenty. And added to the misery was the shuttering of the Yates Racing #28 team (which was one of only two Fords in the top twenty at Bristol), the Wood Brothers part-time schedule, and an ever-growing field of Toyotas.

The best Ford at Bristol was Carl Edwards -- languishing back in fifteenth place.

It's a good thing that NASCAR fatigue and the France family's detonation of the essence of stock car racing has greatly reduced the audience for this fiasco.

Ford's short-track futility is not unexpected.

For five decades, Ford has done an abysmally poor job of supporting the grassroots of weekly short track racing across America. And the Achilles heel of Roush racing has always been the "short track program." NASCAR's testing ban and the "cheater" engines that NASCAR gave Chevrolet, Dodge and Toyota only make this worse.

Add on Ford's lack of car count, and you have a perfect formula for giving away the non-superspeedway portion of the Sprint Cup schedule.

Thus, Ford Racing fans were left with little more than rooting for arch-enemy Chevrolet to knock off the boring NAS-TOYOTA juggernaut.

But at least President Obama hasn't called for Brian Wolfe to be canned, so he's a bit better off than Rick Wagoner (who probably was in no mood to celebrate Hendrick Chevrolet's twenty-fifth anniversary victory at Martinsville).

Now if we could only get Obama to sack Brian France . . . .


(Truth With Speedzzter would like to give a shout out to the "TV TROPES" website for linking to this blog in its "Serious Business" trope page:

A blogger known only as "Speedzzter" went NUTS after Kyle Busch gave Toyota their first NASCAR Sprint Cup win. His rant must be read to be believed.


Of course, the greed-soaked sell-out of NASCAR's traditions to Toyota IS SERIOUS BUSINESS (and Truth With Speedzzter does not take such traitorous, Anti-American actions lightly).)

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Friday, March 13, 2009

BRIAN WOLFE RATIONALIZES HARD TIMES AT FORD RACING

[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

Perhaps we shouldn't throw rocks at Ford Motor Company's factory racing efforts. After all, we could someday be repeating the disasterous mistake of November 1970, when Lee Iacocca, Red Poling, and Henry Ford II and their anti-Knudsen hatchetmen killed off virtually the entire "Total Performance" motorsports program.

Still, to see a solid, hardworking Ford "lifer" such as Ford Racing Boss Brian Wolfe have to dance around justifying Ford's cutbacks in motorsports is hardly entertaining.

Wolfe's budget has been slashed by nearly FORTY PERCENT in recent months.

Wolfe, attempting to justify giving over control of the NASCAR Nationwide and Camping World Truck series to Toyota, said:

In NASCAR, it made us focus on Cup and Cup exclusively," Wolfe said. "In the truck series and the Nationwide series, we backed away from a lot of our, if not all of our financial backing, although we're still offering technical assistance to insure the cars perform as well as they can on the track, and a contingency program where we reward some people for that."

* * * *

"It wasn't like it was unforeseen and we had to tear up our plan and start over," Wolfe said. "That's why we were putting our focus in NASCAR on the Cup Series and (why) we're staying in the NHRA, primarily focused on the Funny Cars and the sportsman racers who work with us so well and do so much for us."


"I couldn't be happier with the performance of our teams this year," Wolfe said. "We don't have as many teams (as other manufacturers), but I've learned long ago it's the quality of the teams you have and the qualify of the guys you've got working for you that make a big difference.


Of course, perhaps the greatest year for Ford Racing in the modern era was 1992. Nearly two-thirds of the Winston Cup field were Ford Thunderbirds. And not boring, common-template NASCAR-designed "funny cars," but Thunderbirds that actually looked like production Thunderbirds.

Three Ford teams battled down to the last laps of the season for the Winston Cup Championship, which was won in dramatic fashion by "Underbird" Alan Kulwicki.

During 1992, Jack Roush's Fords were the midst of their incredible decade of dominance in the 24 Hours of Daytona.

Ford also had factory presence in Formula One (Michael Schumacher took his first F1 victory in a Ford Cosworth-powered car), World Rally, Indy Cars (the XB Cosworth won six races in its initial season) and various forms of sports car racing.

Now, while NASCAR and big-time international motorsports "dust and glory" is less frequent these days (excluding WRC, of course), Brian Wolfe's crew are making do in spectacular fashion with vibrant production Mustang-based Grand Am, Miller Cup and NHRA Cobra Jet programs, and a strong (but too small) Ford Racing Performance Parts operation.

Hopefully, Mr. Wolfe will continue to have success in making the case to Ford's bean counters and "appliance motorist" greens in the Glass House that motorsports is essential to Ford's very survival as a manufacturer.

And maybe someday, Ford will see fit to revisit the incredible "Total Performance" era (or at least the 1992 echo of it).

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

HUGE CUTS IN DETROIT 3 NASCAR SPENDING MAY BE JUST THE FIRST STEP

[Get the latest "Truth With Speedzzter" here]

Each of the Detroit 3 are making significant cuts in their spending on NASCAR racing for 2009.

Ford Motor Company's NASCAR budget will be a whopping TWENTY PERCENT less. Chrysler's spending may be off by more than thirty percent.

But as GM and Chrysler cut production and extend the Christmas break to conserve cash, both companies are (thus far)resisting the call to abandon NASCAR.

Undoubtedly, the Detroit 3 have a love-hate relationship with NASCAR. They love the attention that NASCAR provides. They love the free television media. They love the venerable idea of "Win on Sunday and Sell on Monday," even if it is strongly undercut by the fact that there's virtually no relationship whatsoever between a common-template NASCAR and anything sold to consumers. They love the squeaky-clean corporate image and networking opportunities in the luxury boxes that now typify the sport. And they love the fact that NASCAR racing still tends to prompt some degree of brand loyalty.

Of course, they undoubtedly hate the lack of relevance NASCAR has to showroom products. And they probably hate the expensive "arms race" with Toyota, as well as the insatiable greed and profligate spending of NASCAR's super-teams. Undoubtedly they hate the France Family's stranglehold on American racing. Surely, they hate how Brian France has managed to kill most of what was beloved about the Old NASCAR. They hate the lack of brand loyalty of NASCAR's "guns-for-hire" drivers. And they hate the fact that the NASCAR haters and millions who hold all motorsports in contempt believe that spending money on NASCAR is a huge waste.

The NASCAR funding cuts are an attempt to balance the new economic realities and NASCAR criticisms with the marketing benefits of staying in the sport.

Most certainly, the Detroit 3 will be looking carefully at the impact that NASCAR cuts have on sales. For Dodge, the results on-track have been so poor, no one is likely to notice much from the cuts -- a few fewer backmarkers in Dodges than last year, perhaps. Whether the Detroit 3 cuts will derail any of the super-teams, such as Roush or Hendrick, however, will be closely studied.
If the Detroit 3 see no sales impact from the cuts, then look for additional cuts.

If a "Car Czar" is appointed, it's possible that the Feds may have veto power over the Detroit 3's NASCAR activities.

Undoubtedly the radical greens and some soulless accounting types will point to the millions spent on NASCAR as being as wasteful and tone-deaf as those infamous Detroit 3 corporate jets.

A powerful "Car Czar" could force GM and Chrysler to slash all NASCAR funding as a condition to federal loan assistance. In fact, a "Car Czar" might impose a reprisal of the horrific 1957 A.M.A. "Racing Ban" in order to kill off all Detroit 3 participation in motorsports.

Some have pointed out that Brian France's COT doesn't really need any OEM manufacturers. A common-spec aftermarket engine is virtually imposed by the rules. If the Detroit 3 go away, will NASCAR adopt the IRL spec-racing model?

Or will NASCAR respond to the budget cuts and increase in part-time teams with cuts in the size of fields, fewer events or other cost-saving strategies?

To be sure, this round of cuts are likely not the last. And reduced Detroit 3 involvment will surely change the face of NASCAR.

The question for Ford is: will Ford "seize the day" as GM did when Chrysler and Ford abandoned NASCAR in the 1970s?.

Don't count on it.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

THEY CALL ME MR. FIBBS . . . UH . . . GIBBS

There’s no truth to the rumor that NASCAR’s hapless tech crew found cross-shaped magnets under the accelerator pedals in the Holy Joe Fibbs . . . uh . . . Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota “Camry” funnycars at Michigan . . . .

Not surprisingly, the Joe Fibbs . . . uh . . . Gibbs Racing Defense League (Powered by Toyota) is out in force as we all await NASCAR’s slap on the wrist for “Gas Pedal Gate.”

For example, Yahoo Sports’ Jay Busbee writes:
The bootlegging past that some NASCAR old-timers point to so proudly? Cheating and lawbreaking, like it or not. The foundations of this great sport? Based on scamming, swindling, and double-dealing the salt-of-the-earth drivers and fans. And there's not a team around that hasn't at least considered ways to cut corners. It's impossible to prove, but I'd bet every driver -- yes, even your favorite one -- has run some illegal modifications in testing and either gotten away with it on Sunday or decided it was too risky.


In other words, “everybody’s doing it” so “he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

The problem with this theory is that, even if it is assumed true, it doesn’t absolve Joe Fibbs . . . uh . . . Gibbs Racing from premeditated mendacity. Nor does it excuse NASCAR’s bootstrapping of the entire, apply-named TRD racing program.

(You don’t believe NASCAR has “given” Toyota about 98% of what it takes to win? Just look at a series where Toyota doesn’t get spotted proven engine, chassis and body parameters: Formula One. Toyota has spent hundreds of millions on F1 over many more years than spanned by TRD’s NASCAR adventure. And what do they have to show for it. Virtually nothing).

A few points of rebuttal are necessary:

1. NASCAR’s cheatin’ past isn’t so romantic.
Sure, Smokey Yunick, Junior Johnson and a handful of bootleggers have spun a web of anecdotes about “scamming, swindling and double-dealing” Big Bill France and the overwhelmed early-day NASCAR tech inspectors. But NASCAR history is replete with plenty of disqualifications for cheating during the “strictly stock” days of stock car racing (when what happened on the tracks actually had some relevance to what was happening in the showrooms). Of course, Big Bill’s early technical organization was no match for the resources of the tech savvy “Southern engineers and mechanics” of the early “pure stock” era

Once the factories became involved in full force and the France family got used to ever bigger paydays, NASCAR started losing its way.

By the time Little Bill France took over and the factories pulled out, NASCAR’s emerging commitment to the “Star System” resulted in an elastic rule book that reportedly was interpreted differently for the big name drivers than it was for the struggling strokers and regional racers. (Think of this as sort of a de facto franchising system).

Then in the 1980s, NASCAR began asserting more pressure toward parity to encourage more Detroit money to flow. But once the big TV and sponsor money entered the sport and multi-car superteams began to dominate, NASCAR struggled with an inconsistent, whip-saw approach to “parity” which more often than not obviously favored General Motors and led to dramatic declines in the “stockness” of “NASCARs.” It also directly lead to bloated R&D budgets(searching for the next “unfair advantage”), huge fleets of specialized and freakish-looking race cars for each competitive team, and the end of small, independent teams.

2. Joe Fibbs . . . uh . . . Gibbs is central to the problems of the “New NASCAR.”
The France Family’s greed for ever larger TV packages and sponsorship dollars led to NASCAR’s preference for celebrity-laden superteams.

Joe Gibbs is a celebrity owner, whose only real tie to racing before NASCAR was apparently owning a hot rod in high school. But Gibbs has a name that resonates in corporate boardrooms in a way that the Wood Brothers, Robert Yates, Bud Moore or Junior Johnson could never hope to. Thus, Joe Gibbs jumped into NASCAR racing in the 1990s with the best of everything (big-time sponsors, a lucrative factory deal with GM, and top-flight professional personnel who actually knew how to race something).

Gibbs’ squeaky clean, wholesome image and NFL football fame allowed NASCAR to help paper over the sports’ more unsavory aspects in the 1990s (such as over-dependance on tobacco and liquor money and the arguably uncultured Southern roots of the sport) and attract a bonanza of CLEAN, WHOLESOME, FAMILY-FRIENDLY corporate money.

Gibbs’ dabbling in NASCAR also immediately increased the profile of “stock car” racing on national sports pages, helping facilitate the France Family dream of NASCAR rivaling the stick and ball sports for a share of the national sports marketplace. In the minds of some, Gibbs was a “conquest” – an NFL mind who “saw the light” and jumped ship to NASCAR.

In a sense, Gibbs represented NASCAR’s prototype for the “common template owner:” A traditional, inoffensive, nationally-known celebrity with no particular ties to NASCAR’s embarrassing blue collar past.

However, for this new generation to become successful (and keep the big corporate money flowing) NASCAR had to insure a degree of success for Gibbs. As older, less telegenic owners and owner-drivers were discarded left and right, NASCAR repeatedly made “calls” which favored huge factory-backed superteams, such as JGR and Hendrick. (And later, Evernham, Penske and Gannassi).

3. Gibbs switch to Toyota was merely another step in NASCAR’s international homogenation plan.

Brian France is apparently desperate for Toyota success because of the decline in the Detroit 3’s market fortunes (who knows how long the Big 3 can afford to blow hundreds of millions on NASCAR) and the imagined huge fan base that an import brand promised.

After virtually ignoring TRD’s outrageous theft of technology through the hapless Bill Davis Racing (A similar stunt in Formula One would have likely resulted in a one hundred million dollar fine and huge points penalty), NASCAR listened to the apparently brain-dead Petty family and others to develop a “common spec” series that removed any remaining pretense that NASCAR was “stock car” racing. This paved the way for Toyota’s instant competitiveness, despite not offering anything in the showroom that is remotely like a NASCAR “Camry.”

But Toyota’s first season of the big time was a bust. While buying up old chestnuts such as the Waltrips and the faded Dale Jarrett was an open-checkbook path to instant notoriety in the inner circles of recent NASCAR "tradition," these “names” abjectly failed to produce results with what NASCAR had given Toyota. Moreover, these “names” didn’t pave the way to enthusiastic acceptance of Toyota in the more traditional NASCAR venues.

Thus, for an overbearing foreign manufacturer from the 1% Christian nation of Japan to prosper in NASCAR’s Bible Belt, buying up the hyper-evangelical Christian Joe Gibbs Racing became essential. The fact that Gibbs held possession to nearly 20 years of GM Racing tech secrets was probably just a bonus. It was the All-American Gibbs and his “Apple Pie” sponsor and driver line-ups that were undoubtedly the prize Brian France coveted for Toyota to make his myopic gamble a success. If Super-Christian Gibbs – an impeccable national celebrity -- could lie down for money with the godless invaders, then what NASCAR fan could possibly reject Toyota’s legitimacy in the sport?

4. The integrity (if any) of the “common template” era depends on strict enforcement.

If NASCAR’s new “spec series” plan is anything other than a coerced technology transfer to Toyota and the other “Johnny-come-lately” have-not manufacturers (i.e. Dodge), then it must strictly equalize performance levels. Righteous Promise-Keeper Joe Fibber’s fun with magnets cuts at the root of this by attempting to scam NASCAR’s technical baseline and cover up the true nature of Toyota’s non-production, purpose-built, ordinary-joes-can't-buy-'em pushrod racing engines.

5. The penalty against Joe Fibbs . . . uh . . . Gibbs should reflect the probability that TRD had to have known and stood to benefit.

One would have be incredibly naive to believe that TRD’s phalanx of engineers don’t know to the 1/10th of a horsepower what a competitive Nationwide Cup engine makes. Unless it can be shown that TRD supplies absolutely no engineering support to Joe Fibbs . . . uh . . . Gibbs, then TRD knew or should have known about JGR’s scamming of the NASCAR “lie detector” dyno.

Moreover, if there’s even a scintilla of truth left to the “win on Sunday, sell on Monday” mantra, then Toyota has reaped a massive harvest from Joe Fibbs’ . . . uh . . . Gibbs 2008 NASCAR successes. That means a potential return on investment of millions for the Japanese-controlled invaders. Thus to deter future attacks on the tattered and oft-questioned integrity of the sport, the penalty should be large enough to hurt Toyota’s bottomless checkbook.


Anything less would be a meaningless slap on the wrist . . . another wink and nod harkening back to the old days when the elastic rule book was selectively enforced from the back seat of a Pontiac station wagon.

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Monday, August 18, 2008

WE ALL KNEW TOYOTA WAS CHEATING, AND NOW WE PARTIALLY KNOW HOW

[READ MORE TRUTH ABOUT THE MAGNETIC JOE FIBBS . . . uh GIBBS RACING HERE"]

NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series is dead, but the “racin’” (if you can still call it that) goes on ... and on ... and on.

Brian France's WWE-on-wheels “show” is based on a non-production "common template" car and engine. Toyota’s “Camry” has taken powerful advantage of the "common template" format, capitalizing on the millions and millions in GM & Ford NASCAR R&D over the past forty years and seemingly generous NASCAR oversight, by building a not-even-close-to-production “NASCAR."

The NASCAR-specified “common” engine parameters and Toyota’s well-funded opportunity to build an optimized cam-in-block pushrod racing engine to them caused Toyota to have a modest horsepower advantage over Ford’s more production-based NASCAR engine (at least Ford’s NASCAR engine parts will bolt on to old FoMoCo production engines from the 1970s and 1980s, which is something that Chevrolet, Dodge and Toyota can never say about their “clean sheet” racing engines).

The chumps in the NASCAR tech center believed that they could obtain "parity" through common specifications and regular dyno testing of the entrants.

Toyota’s NASCAR-gifted horsepower advantage has been utilized to dominating effect in the 2008 season by the previously underwhelming Kyle “Rowdy” Busch, driving for the former third-string Chevy team of Joe Gibbs Racing.

In the warm-up Nationwide support series (which uses the old pre-COT NASCAR "funny car" bodies), TRD's "common specification" engine has been even more dominant in 2008.

So much for "parity."

After months and months of ignoring overwhelming evidence that the NASCAR “common template” Toyotas were “more equal” than all the others, the bumbling, myopic morons in the NASCAR technical center recently chopped back the allowed power of Toyota’s purpose-built, non-production NASCAR mill in the Nationwide series.

Now the evidence is conclusive that Toyota has been cheating big time at the equalization dynamometer.

Toyota, of course, disclaims any involvement.

However, Toyota apparently has a “magnetic” attraction to cheaters.

For example, the jerks at Bill Davis Racing were reportedly canned from their Dodge factory deal a few years back for allegedly letting the aptly-named TRD in on some proprietary MoPar Performance info.

Then in 2007, the backmarker builders at Michael Waltrip Racing were caught doping up the intake manifold of a restrictor plate engine at Daytona with a mysterious “performance enhancing” goo.

And now, the “honest, ethical Christians” at Joe Gibbs Racing were caught red handed with magnetic spacers under the foot-feed at NASCAR’s dyno test, in order to mask the horsepower advantage from the non-production racing engine that NASCAR “gave” them.

How could a magnet work? Less accelerator travel on the NASCAR dyno means less carburetor opening and a corresponding reduction in observed horsepower. And come racing time, the magnet could be removed to restore full power to the engine.

That’s certainly what we’d expect from a bottom-feeding bunch of shameless, opportunistic, anti-American turncoats such as the greedy, cheating hypocrites at Joe Gibbs Racing. And as Pat Suhy, GM Racing group manager for NASCAR said, the actions by the Gibbs team raise more questions that stretch all the way to Toyota: "you have to just question every chassis dyno that's ever been run on every Toyota."

We knew they were cheating all along. And now we know at least one way how.

Curiously, at the second 2008 “Detroit” NASCAR race at Michigan International, one of TRD’s purpose-built, non-production “common” parameter racing engines, in Denny Hamblin’s common-template “Camry” blew up at just the right time to give “Rowdy” Busch and his cheater Toyota another shot at Carl Edward’s Ford.

Coincidence? Speedzzter thinks not.

But Kyle “the Chicago basher” Busch couldn’t get to Edwards’ bumper on the restart and Roush Fenway Office Depot Ford ran away for the win.

Maybe “Shrub’s” crew forgot to take out the magnet.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

IS IT TIME FOR THE "NASCAR NATION" TO STOP COMPLAINING?

[GET THE LATEST "TRUTH WITH SPEEDZZTER" HERE]

Yesterday, Yahoo Sports blogger Jay Busbee picked up Speedzzter's "The Day NASCAR Died" entry on the "From the Marbles" blog.

The resulting explosion of blog traffic was much greater than from Speedzzter's political fare or posts about Ford Motor Company issues.

Thanks Jay and "From the Marbles."

Of course, the well-placed NASCAR paid propagandists are trying to pacify the natives of the so-called "NASCAR NATION," claiming that all's well or even better than ever.

For example, Turner's Joe Menzer, over at the NASCAR-restricted NASCAR.com website sings the praises of Toyota's sudden dominance in an attack piece clearly aimed at Jack Roush and Roush-Fenway Racing:

But to all those who say that this long-predicted and much-feared emergence of Toyota means the end to all that is sacred and good about NASCAR, it's time to say this: Grow up.


Menzer's screed (which could have been drafted either by Brian France's public relations rep or Toyota's TRD) is entitled "To deal with Toyota, stop complaining, go compete."

Of course, Menzer claims that Toyota's [not so] "long way to the top" is simply the product of good, old-fashioned 'Merican hard work.

But Menzer ignores virtually all of the legitimate criticisms about how the Brian France regime has stage-managed and bootstrapped Toyota's NASCAR trajectory. Because Jack Roush has been the most vocal critic among the elite and insular club of Sprint Cup owners, Roush is, unfairly, Menzer's villain.

However, Menzer's myopic "all is wonderful" view of the Toyota Cup . . . oops . . . Sprint Cup and the bush-league Nationwide and Craftsman Truck Series ignores that the status quo in NASCAR is wholly unsatisfactory to millions of "fully grown up" consumers who used to be in the stands or watching on TV.

Moreover, The obvious problem with the "go compete" canard is that unless one is willing to spend 100+ million dollars to snag a "factory deal" field a huge superteam (and then be prepared for NASCAR to give away, restrict or outlaw any non-production technology you might spend millions and millions to develop) there is "no competing" with Toyota's buy-out of NASCAR.

NASCAR didn't make Toyota build and sell to the general public what they wanted to race.

Instead NASCAR let Toyota (and Dodge) crib the best from Ford and GM's 40+ year investment in NASCAR as a baseline. And NASCAR gave Toyota (and Dodge) essentially the same aerodynamics with the hideous COT. Thus we have a freakish "common-template" non-production rear-wheel-drive pushrod/carbureted V8-powered "Toyota Camry" funnycars dominating in laps led, if not yet wins.

And Toyota's capture of Joe Gibbs Racing is disloyal, "checkbook racing" at its most shameful (not that Speedzzter would be complaining if Gibbs moved to Ford . . . .)

You could likely put all of the production-based parts on the NASCAR "Toyota Camry" in a large suitcase and still have plenty of room for a case of whatever Brian France must have been drinking when he concocted this disaster plan.

And all of the overpaid NASCAR shills are pushing this mess as some sort of Second Coming for the sport of "stock car" racing.

So should the "NASCAR NATION" just "grow up?" Just give up and go along with the path the France Family has dictated for us to follow?

No sale!

Sorry, but NASCAR's "gimme" to Toyota is another huge step down the road to the extinction of OEM production-car-based AMERICAN stock car racing.

At least there are still V8 Supercars racing in the Land of OZ, so there's a little something left for us old-fashioned "Walter Mitty" OEM production stock car fans to identify with.

And that indicates how disappointed and disgruntled NASCAR fans could "go compete:" By watching more relevant racing elsewhere. Or spending their time and money engaged in other motorsports activities. Such "starving of the Brian France Beast" is the sort of competition that would get NASCAR's attention.

Hopefully, some dangerous fans with paving equipment and other promoters that NASCAR has left behind will someday develop a production-based alternative to the Brian France COT circus -- an alternative which returns to real, OEM production "stock car racing" (with suitable safety systems added, of course)

Now that would be a real way to "go compete."

. . . An alternative which does not require 100-person teams or a million dollars per race to compete. An alternative that equalizes the "playing field" with production parts sold in the showroom, and not fabricated in the secret labs of superteams. . . .


Yahoo Sports NASCAR blog's Daily Dose column by Bob Margolis, asserted a different defense of the 2008 NASCAR season. He claims that the season in which NASCAR DIED has "shown all the signs of . . . being a classic year . . . ."

Margolis then gives ten reasons why and threw down a dare for NASCAR critics to proffer ten reasons why not. (Possibly Bob was standing down wind from where Goodyear was burning all of those "junk" tires that didn't get the Tony-Stewart-Stamp-of-Approval at Atlanta).

Several NASCAR traditionalists have responded. Of course "Truth With Speedzzter" is more than happy to pick up the gauntlet of a challenge . . . .

2008 is shaping up to be a dismal year for "NASCOT" because:

1. Too much "single file" riding instead of racing.

2. Too many "fans disguised as empty seats."

3. No "renewal" of the Southern 500 (again).

4. Too many "cookie cutter" 1.5 mile ovals on the schedule.

5. More overhyped Indy 500 winners riding around laps down at the back than at the Indy 500.

6. Tony's [Stewart's] brain and razor aren't working (Maybe ol' Smoke could stuff that Old Spice towel into his mouth).

7. The Wood Brothers keep missing the show. ]

8. Impending sell-out of Petty Enterprises.

9. Toyota dominance in an ugly "common-template," freakish "NASCAR" which has nothing to do with anything sold anywhere, in any showroom, to anybody, anywhere.

(not that any consumer would pay for something that looks like Bob-the-Builder mocked it up out of cardboard, plopped on a "tuner wing" and "splitter" from the Pep Boys, and slathered it with fake-looking "brand identification" decals)
.

10. No competitive single car teams.

11. Yates Racing #28 (Travis Kvapil) struggling on the pick-up-sponsor-of-the-week program.

12. "Rowdy" Busch is a wreck waiting to happen on nearly every lap.

13. The "24 hours of California."

14. Backmarker Dale Jarrett still hasn't retired.

15. Dale Jr.-- New team, new number, new driving suit . . . and same old losing streak.

16. Mark "Viagra" Martin -- still stroking around, but in a Chevy.

17. Jeff Gordon -- still hated as a gutless turncoat by Ford Racing fans, but still running better than he should be.

18. Still too much of shameless Toyota pitchmen the Waltrip Brothers on television.

19. Fox Gopher cam.

20. New Hampshire is still a boring death trap with two dates (thanks oldcorps116).

Bonus: BRIAN FRANCE . . . .

How's that list, Bob?

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

THE DAY NASCAR DIED

[NOTE: GET THE LATEST “TRUTH WITH SPEEDZZTER” HERE]

March 9, 2008 . . . a date that will live in motorsports infamy.

March 9, 2008, is the date when Brian France’s plot to destroy American “stock car” racing and hand the cold, dead carcass over to the Japanese began to bear rotten fruit in the highest echelons of the sport.

March 9, 2008, is the day when the ersatz, “common-template” funnycar, powered by a never-production, never-sold-to-the-general public, purpose-engineered and built pushrod “Toyota” V8, garnered the first Sprint Cup win for the burgeoning, billions-of-Yen Toyota take-over of NASCAR.

Plenty of fans “dressed as empty seats” witnessed Kyle Busch -- possibly 2008's most unpopular non-Southerner to slide through a “common-template” window opening– and his traitorous teammate, scruffy Tony Stewart, wheel their hideous, Joe Gibbs “Toyota Camry [sic]” common-template funnycars to the top two spots at the Atlanta Motor Speedway in the 2008 Kobalt Tools 500 NASCAR Sprint Cup race.

Now it’s official.

There’s simply no reason for a red-blooded American who appreciates the storied traditions of Southern-style stock car racing to ever watch or attend a WWE -on-wheels NASCAR show ever again.

NASCAR has “jumped the shark” . . . and the shark is now a fine plate of overpriced sushi being served up in an air-conditioned luxury box to some golf-shirt wearing corporate hacks from Tokyo.

They might as well change the meaning of the NASCAR acronym to the Nippon Association of Schizoid Car Auto Racing.

Brian France -- who is quite possibly the best living argument for a 100% inheritance tax in America (perhaps second only to William Clay Ford, Jr.).-- has been trying for years to give NASCAR over to Toyota.

First, the moronic Brian France let Toyota make up a “clean sheet” pushrod NASCAR racing engine, learning from the best Ford Motor Company and others had taken years to develop.

Then the vapid Brian France allowed Toyota to become the dominant make in the Craftsman Truck Series, ruining whatever limited appeal that bogus “funnytruck” series ever had.

Then Brian-the-Buffoon countenanced Toyota’s concocting of a rear-wheel-drive, pushrod V8 powered “Toyota Camry” (that’s wholly unlike anything the Toyoda Automatic Loom Works, Ltd. and its successors ever sold to any consumer, anywhere, at any time, ever.)

Brian France, the latest patriarch of the dictatorial France family and the one who has killed or assisted in the killing many venerable Southern traditions, such as racing at the North Carolina Motor Speedway and on Labor Day in Darlington, South Carolina, at the Southern 500, as well as pushing full-throttle on the non-stock, “common-template” aesthetic abortion known as the “Car of Tomorrow,” apparently sees allowing huge superteams funded by millions and billions of dollars from Japan as the ultimate in progress for the formerly, all-American sport of “stock car” racing.

And the France family’s iron-handed monopoly on racing facilities that could theoretically support the birth of a new TRUE STOCK CAR series (i.e. racing of cars that the general public can actually purchase, just like when NASCAR began “strictly stock” competition 60 years ago), likely means that Brian France’s gift of the last major American motorsports series over to the Japanese will go mostly unabated.

(Note that already, due to Tony George’s idiotic Indy Racing League power grab, Indy/Champ Car racing is now exclusively powered by Honda).

The warning signs of the Toyota take-over have been gathering all season.

Toyota has dominated the lackluster warm-up days in the bush-league Nationwide Cup and the aforementioned Craftsman Truck mess. And “Shrub” Busch has been recklessly flinging around his horrendously ugly “common-template” “Toyota Camry [sic]” Sprint Cup funnycar like a crazed PCP addict.

(Of course, wild recklessness, along with a fair amount of fan hatred, is what many believe cost “Shrub” his ride with the Hendrick Chevrolet superteam)

And NASCAR tipped everyone to its growing fondness for all things Japanese when it heavily penalized the Roush-Fenway Ford team for a loose oil tank cover after Carl Edward’s win last week in Las Vegas, handing the season points lead over to a Toyota team for the first time ever.

Whether or not NASCAR gave Toyota and Gibbs “the Call” on March 9 will undoubtedly be the subject of debate for years. But from Speedzzter’s perspective, NASCAR has already given Toyota so many “calls” to bootstrap them to this point, that one more probably wasn’t necessary.

Of course, for traditionalists, the irony of Toyota’s “first big win” is that it was at Atlanta. Atlanta was the site of perhaps the greatest race in NASCAR history (and no, Dale Earnhardt didn’t win it).

The 1992 Hooters 500 probably was the pinnacle of the “modern era” of NASCAR, and likely for the foreseeable future.

In that storied race, owner-driver Alan Kulwicki took the NASCAR Winston Cup championship with his non-common-template Ford “Underbird” Thunderbird (which still featured a number of production-based body panels, an engine derived from parts Ford had at one time sold regular Joes in production cars, and had its drive wheels on the same end as the production Thunderbirds of the day).

Kulwicki battled Ford heros Bill Elliott (driving for Junior Johnson) and Davey Allison (driving for Holman-Moody alumnus Robert Yates) for the championship that day.

Also that day, the hated FoMoCo turncoat Jeff Gordon infamously started his first “Cup” race in a Hendrick Chevrolet and The King, Richard Pettydrove his last.

Petty, incidentally, drove Fords as a protest during the 1969 season and strongly lobbied hard for this boring, common-template mess decades later)

Kulwicki was the last owner-driver to win the championship.

Kulwicki was the last driver to win the championship who was not a member of a huge, factory-backed superteam.

And Kulwicki was the last driver to win a championship in a car that was not based (loosely) on a prosaic front-wheel-drive model converted to pushrod V8 power and rear-wheel-drive.

Of course, the old-fashioned, brutal oval layout that began in 1960 as Atlanta International Speedway and on which Kulwicki won the 1992 Winston Cup has now been turned into another bloated, boring, cookie-cutter “tri-oval.” (According to the Speedway’s website, “When the 1.5-mile track, then called Atlanta International Raceway, finally made its debut on July 31, 1960, it became the seventh superspeedway,a paved facility of one mile or more, to play host to a Cup race. Only three of the original seven; Darlington Raceway, Daytona International Speedway and Lowe's (then Charlotte) Motor Speedway are still in operation.”)

The little-guy owner/driver teams are all gone as well.

And there’s probably not one OEM production part left in the repugnant common-template funnycars that Brian France claims are the “cars of tomorrow” today.

And now, in the daze of huge corporate dominance, massive superteams with obscene budgets, sagging attendance and flat television ratings, Brian France’s little gift to Toyota is the final insult to true stock car-loving traditionalists.

Also ironic is that Toyota's racing arm is known as Toyota Racing Development or TRD -- which is exactly what a Toyota winning a NASCAR race is: A TRD.

Perhaps the old fans who are watching the weeds grow at North Wilksboro and Rockingham and recalling the Old NASCAR are seeing a better show these days. At least they have their memories . . . .

The NASCAR we knew is dead. Absolutely dead.

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