"LUTZ SEZ" PONTIAC G8 SHOULD BECOME CHEVROLET CAPRICE (AND THEN "LUTZ SEZ" IT DOESN'T)

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Here's a rumor that ought to give nightmares to the Glass House Gang. Just when it looked like the mega-potent V8/RWD Holden Commodore, oddly known in the States as the Pontiac G8, would be retreating back to the "Land of Wonder, the Land Down Under," "Maximum Bob" Lutz may intervene to save it as a Chevrolet Caprice.

(That sound you just heard was a host of Ford lifers exclaiming "Crikey!")

Given that the Commodore is already sold as a Chevrolet Caprice in the Middle East and likely could be easily "badge engineered" into a bow-tie bruiser (Why bother to do anything more than just rip off the "Pontiac" badges and glue on some new Chevy ones?), Lutz's proposal is a "beyond obvious" move.

Whether "Obama/U.A.W. Motors" can pull off the switch before the Obama hikes in Corporate Average Fuel Economy hit is a question. Another question is whether an obviously good idea such as the "Holden Caprice" can survive the current political climate for what would likely be a short run.

Ford, of course, will be left without any U.S. certified V8 capable RWD sedan chassis after the slaughter of its Panthers sometime in the 2010-2011 time frame. Thus, as the Second Supercar Era ends in the hailstorm of "climate change"/"Cap-n-Tax"/"Global Governance" madness, FoMoCo will not be able to build one last "muscle car" sedan to tide us over through the coming malaise. (The overweight, under-performing, V8-less "Fat Buddha" 2010 Taurus and SHO (Slow, Heavy, Overpriced) certainly won't!

Tragic. Stupid. And just as predicted here, Ford has "Lutz more to worry about."


[UPDATE: After this post, Truth With Speedzzter reader "Alex" and Bangshift.com reported that Lutz had to flip-flop on the Caprice, saying that there was no "business case" for it.

As Speedzzter wrote over at "Bangshift,"

And a bunch of those FoMoCo execs who approved the Taurus SHO (Slow, Heavy, Overpriced) are now breathing again . . . .

(Of course they probably never really expected that "Government Motors" would offer something as audacious as the RWD V8 G8/Caprice.

and

No "business case" is Detroit-speak for the when the parasitic Robert McNamara bean-counter types (i.e. Fritz Henderson and his appliance motorist handlers on the Car Czar Central Committee) shoot down a what looks to everyone else like a "no brainer."

So much for another good idea.]

GRAND MARQUIS & RANGER: OVERPRICED?

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According to Forbes Magazine and an outfit known as Vincentric, Mercury Grand Marquis and Ford Ranger are overpriced.

Vincentric’s multi-variable analysis determined that the Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) for Grand Marquis is a whopping 21.4 percent above market value. This placed the Grand Marquis in the penultimate position of shame, only behind bankrupt Dodge’s Ram pickup.

Ford Ranger Supercab and regular cab 2wd were overpriced 11.1 Percent and 11.5 percent respectively.

A SAD WAY TO STARVE A PANTHER

Grand Marquis’ poor showing are wholly predictable. The car has not be restyled in over ten model years. Even Henry’s Model T had more exterior updates than that.

Mechanically, the Grand Marquis soldiers along with a wonderful full-frame RWD chassis that was redone for the 2003-2004 Marauder, but is hamstrung with a puny 281-cube SOHC having only two small valves per cylinder. It’s also limited by an out-of-date four-speed automatic. Since the sacking of the overpriced/underpowered (for a sports sedan) Marauder, Mercury has offered virtually no touring or performance options on the big Panther.

So here you have it: A relatively low-performance “grandma” car that looks almost identical to one sold ten years ago, and starved of any development or promotion for the better part of a decade is a shoe-in for low market values.

And it’s all on purpose.

The Glass House Gang is TRYING to kill the Panther through obvious neglect. Clearly, a lot of pricy executive egos are invested in forcing Panther customers into the Volvo-derived six-cylinder FWD “D3s” and their flabby derivatives. The “Fat Buddha” 2010 Taurus gets all the love while the long-serving RWD Panther doesn’t even get the scraps! And in this sick, self-fulfilling prophecy, FoMoCo will justify slaughtering the last “real” full-frame RWD car that probably will ever be offered for sale in America at the end of 2010 or 2011 because of declining sales.

The bean counters and Panther haters destroyed any chance the Marauder had of igniting the Impala SS sports sedan/muscle car formula. And the bean counters and Panther haters have shamefully milked the 1998/2003 Grand Marquis, withholding from it obvious off-the-shelf parts that would have made it more competitive and a better value.

Of course, the irony is that back when GM was killing RWD and V8 power in the 1980s, Ford, Lincoln and Mercury benefitted from keeping their Panthers alive (albeit mostly on limited investment life support).

The development budget since 2003 seems to be about $1.95 . . . .

Had Mercury made reasonable investments in the Grand Marquis (i.e. restyling on the customary Japanese four-year cycle, multivalve engines, cylinder deactivation and variable valve timing, six-speed transmissions, and the sorts of performance options suggested by (or withheld from) the Marauder, and perhaps even the return of two-door body styles or the still-born Marauder convertable) market values would not have nosedived like a new “1998 model.”

The story is similar for Ranger. Long neglected, new Rangers are fundamentally the same as older models. Without high-performance V8s or other image-builders (an electric hybrid or a modern turbo-diesel would have been an obvious choice a while back given the green interests and rhetoric of William Clay Ford, Jr.), the Ranger, like the Grand Marquis is a dated commodity vehicle.

The slow "Terri Schivo" starvation deaths of the Panthers and Ranger evidence a poor way of running an automobile company.