“THE JAY LENO SHOW” IS NO “TOP GEAR”

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NBC’s first airing of the "new" prime-time comedy talker, "The Jay Leno Show," was juxtaposed between two episodes of “Top Gear” on BBC America.

Undoubtedly more than a few American gearheads watched all three programs in sequence. After all, “Top Gear” brings approximately 350 million views worldwide, airing in more than 100 countries. And Jay Leno’s move to prime time has been one of this season’s most hyped gambles. Moreover, Leno is perhaps the most famous automobile collector and enthusiast in America.

Given his automotive passion, some probably expected Leno’s new prime-time program – freed from the traditions of “The Tonight Show” – to take his comedic talents more in the direction of motoring. Some perhaps even hoped that Leno would “drive” in the direction of “Top Gear.”

On the other hand, “Top Gear’s” politically-incorrect Jeremy Clarkson is supposed to have once said that Americans “don’t get it” when plans for a lame U.S. copy of “Top Gear” were shelved.

(And more than a year ago, Leno rejected being part of an Americanized "Top Gear" knockoff: "I have such respect for the original show, I feel if they asked me to do it I would be a pale imitation of Jeremy [Clarkson]. . . . Cars are my hobby. Television is my job. . . .I don’t want it to be my job.")


Now that the first episode of Leno's prime time show has aired, it’s clear that NBC and Leno took Clarkson’s commentary to heart. They traveled a relatively safe, time-worn route, aping not “Top Gear,” but Leno’s old “Tonight Show.” They aimed not for “Top Gear’s” erudite and sophisticated motoring enthusiasts, but at the boring, Toyota Camry-driving, know-nothing mass of middle America.

It’s as if all NBC really wanted to do by transplanting Leno to prime time was to compensate for the emerging likelihood of earlier bedtimes of Leno’s aging baby boomer audience. (Of course NBC’s other objective was to fill the “Ten O’Clock” time slot with a program that costs about one-tenth as much as a scripted drama)

Not that the first episode of “The Jay Leno Show” didn’t try to court the “coveted” 18-49 demographic.

A cringe inducing send-up of the horrible hidden camera adultery investigation show “Cheaters” was clearly aimed at a younger audience. And Leno had the good fortune of having booked Kanye West to appear almost imediately after his incident with Taylor Swift (which some skeptics assume was staged) at the otherwise forgettable MTV Video Music Awards.

But Leno’s supposedly impromptu interview of West took on the overtones of a visit to the school principal’s office, with West avoiding eye contact with the camera and Leno’s silencing query about what would West’s mother think about his actions. It was also clear West had memorized one fake “mea culpa” answer, which he seemed to repeat in response to every question.

Yet the fakeness of the interview was underscored when the just-laconic West donned his sunglasses and recaptured his defiant hip-hop swagger when he performed “Run This Town” with Jay-Z and Rihanna. (Rihanna's strange costume looked like one of the infamous Lady GaGa's rejects)

Perhaps the worst segment of the show was a pre-taped “car wash entertainer” bit that was both risque and creepy at the same time.

The balance of the show was merely vintage Leno “Tonight Show” chestnuts, albeit presented on an oversized stage. Leno's main guest was Jerry Seinfeld, with a cheesy video pop-in by Oprah Winfrey. While this “shot” at the fading, shrill David Letterman (who often whines that Oprah won’t appear on “Late Night With David Letterman”) was mildly entertaining, booking Seinfeld was obviously calculated to appeal to Leno’s baby boomer fans. Even Seinfeld made fun of the booking, pointing out that he’s been out of the NBC line-up for over a decade.

Of course, one could hardly blame NBC and Leno for taking the safe route. Leno’s massive fortune and huge collection of antique automobiles and motorcycles was paid for by the success of Leno’s “Tonight Show” performances. And NBC is taking a significant gamble that the late night talk format will garner sufficient “quality” ratings every night in prime time.

Yet the result seemed as bland and stale as a designed-by-committee Chevrolet Celebrity from the 1980s. Or perhaps one of the old Rovers that Jeremy Clarkson loves to lambaste.

The real problem with the accidental sandwiching of Leno between episodes of “Top Gear” is that it made Leno’s show seem to drag by in comparison. While the hours of “Top Gear” blasted by faster than “The Stig” in an Italian supercar, Leno’s show had the pace and energy of an “Old School” lowrider “bomb” scraping “low-n-slow” down the boulevard.

Even comparison of the theme songs echoed Leno’s blandness. For years, “Top Gear” has used (inexplicably for an otherwise distinctly British show) incredible riffs sampled from the Allman Brothers’ 1970s Southern Rock classic “Jessica” (albeit Dickey Betts’ timeless tune has been updated with a splash of techno). It’s a catchy theme that sticks with viewers and seems to capture the irrelevant zeitgeist and “sub zero” coolness of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard “Hamster” Hammond, “Captain Slow” James May, and the mysterious “Stig.”

It’s doubtful that anyone’s humming the musical mishmash that Kevin Eubanks and the “Prime Time Band” offered up to start the first prime time Leno show. (Perhaps Eubanks should have spent more time on the theme and less time on the icky “Cheaters” segment)

In short, Leno’s new/old show was a “misfire.” A missed opportunity. Perhaps not a total "spinout" or "shunt," but a disappointing "slow lap" nonetheless.

According to media reports, subsequent airings of “Leno” will attempt some “Top Gear” style hijinks, such as an “advertiser-friendly ‘Green Car Challenge.’” “ Two to three times each week, celebrities will drive an electric Ford Focus and try to set records on a compact 1,100-foot outdoor track.” This segment is clearly inspired by “Top Gear’s” entertaining “Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car” segment, albeit obviously compromised for political correctness.

And it’s unfair to compare Leno’s low-budget, somewhat "low-brow" comedy show with a near-legendary filmed program of “epic” proportions. But gearheads will nonetheless. And many of us will lament that Leno has failed to put more “Top Gear” excitement into his new venture.

ROUSH FENWAY RACING: NO “BRAWN” OR “FORCE” (BUT AT LEAST IT’S NOT RICHARD PETTY MOTORSPORTS)

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Roush Fenway Racing (RFR) is limping into the made-for-television “Chase” to NASCAR's Sprint Cup. (Or at least 2/5ths of RFR is)

And the odds of a common-template “Ford Fusion” winning the 2009 Sprint Cup must be astronomical. While a paltry 1/6th of the “Chasers” will have “Ford” decals on their look-alike “NASCARs,” Roushkateers “Cousin” Carl Edwards and Greg Biffle both hobbled their RFR funnyCar-of-Tomorrow “Fords” into the tail end of the Chase with sagging momentum and slim win prospects.

(Ford plans to introduce its new “common-specification,” non-production NASCAR engine at the Chase race in Charlotte, but whether it will make any impact on the title hopes of the Biff or Cousin Carl is unknown.)

The real heartbreaker was the failure of the only Ford driver ever to make all of the prior “Chases” – 2009 Daytona 500 winner and 2003 Cup Champion Matt Kenseth – to make the cut. Kenseth floundered in the “regular season”-ending race at Richmond, while a pair of “Toyotas” provided the only drama for the twelfth-place Chase “bump-spot.”

Contrast RFR’s apparent lack of performance and “strategery” with some of September’s headliners in motorsports:

1. Ford’s favorite drag racing organization, John Force Racing, stepped up and not only put a phalanx of fuel funny cars into NHRA’s version of the “Chase,” the wily John Force knocked rival Cruz Pedregon out. Critics (mostly the Pedregons) claim that Force manipulated the results of his match-up with teammate Robert Hight at the U.S. Nationals to get Hight’s“fuel coupe” into the “Countdown.” The NHRA found no evidence. But even if Force did “dump” at the “Big Go”, he “dumped” with style, timing, and strategy.

(In thanks for all the controversy, the NHRA fined Force $10,000 (ostensibly for shoving an NHRA official who stepped into an argument between Force and one of the whining Pedragon brothers). Actually, the NHRA probably ought to be paying Force $100,000 for all of the free publicity that the NHRA has reaped from the brouhaha).

In contrast to the strategic success of John Force Racing, RFR had more than one-in-ten cars in the field at Richmond, but lacked the tactics or performance to get Matt Kenseth into the Chase.

2. The real masters of strategy in September have been the Brawn GP team in Formula One. Leading the Constructors and Drivers championships based on early season success, Brawn slumped during the summer months. Some wags questioned whether Jensen Button and Rubens Barrichello could put their Brawns into the winners circle after the “Big Teams” seemed to regain their form. The early dominance of Brawn looked like a distant anomaly.

Rubens Barrichello, who is the only driver remaining in the series to have matched up against Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost (and one who suffered through three frustrating, winless seasons in Jackie Stewart’s Fords), managed to overcome the Brawn slump with a surprising victory in the European Grand Prix. It was Barrichello’s first win in five seasons.

Still, many thought Barrichello’s win as a fluke and believed Brawn’s storybook season was still going to come crashing down.

Yet Brawn – down 80 brake horsepower to the better-funded KERS-equipped teams – used an impeccable one-stop strategy to take another one-two finish at the historic Grand Prix of Italy (only a day after Kenseth’s flop at Richmond).

Any doubts that the Brawn GP cars are among the best handling and easiest on the soft “option” tires were erased at Monza.

Again, brilliant driving and a well-executed strategy produced spectacular results.

Also it appears that the Mercedes 2.4-liter V8 is emerging as the engine to have in Formula One. That’s a bitter pill for those who remember the domination of the Cosworth Ford V8s before the 1980s Turbo Era. One wonders what if Ford would have taken better care of Cosworth’s customer engine business in the 1980s and 1990s . . . .

Back in the homogenized “common-template” spec-racer world of NASCAR . . . among the more interesting news to come out of the Richmond weekend was the announcement of a merger in 2010 between Ford-aligned Yates Racing and the Dodge-aligned Richard Petty Motorsports (formerly Gillett Evernham Motorsports).

Although many expected RPM to dump bankrupt Dodge for cash-flush Toyota, the new Petty-Yates superteam will be “Powered by Ford” in 2010. “Yates driver Paul Menard will join RPM's three-car team of Kasey Kahne, Elliott Sadler and AJ Allmendinger.”

This isn’t Richard Petty’s first flirtation with Fords. Petty wheeled a Ford Torino in the 1969 season. And the defunct Petty Engineering team ran a Ford Thunderbird after “The King” took his Pontiacs to Mike Curb’s team in the early 1980s.

Perhaps if Richard Petty had aligned with Ford back in the days when Iacocca’s Dodge Division was abandoning NASCAR (at the time of the first bailout in the 1970s) or even later when the Daimler-Benz owned “DaimlerChrysler” was cribbing from Ford’s NASCARs to return to “Cup,” this news would be a little more exciting. But after decades of weak performance, the name “Richard Petty” is arguably synonymous with both failure and everything that’s wrong with the modern, corporate marketing-driven, common-template mess that is today’s NASCAR.

At least the new RPM should help the Ford car count in 2010. Whether the new Ford-powered RPM will challenge Roush Fenway (or more importantly the Toyotas and the Hendrick Chevrolets) remains to be seen.

Perhaps the slogan for Ford Racing ought to be “there’s always next year . . . .”