THE NERVE OF FORD VERVE?
Ford Motor Company (F) revealed "the first hints" of its "future small-car design vision" at the 2007 Frankfurt Motor Show.

According to the FoMoCo press release, "Ford Verve Concept is presented here in Frankfurt as a bespoke concept car to generate reactions while our production plans are taking shape."

And reactions it shall generate (just wait for it -- after some more PR spin).

John Fleming, President and CEO of Ford of Europe continued: "Our Design team took an unrestrained approach to how our future small cars could look, and this eye-catching concept was one of the results. If we get the reaction we expect, I’m certain that the team will incorporate elements of this advanced design vision into our final production design. This will make the next generation of small cars from Ford very compelling indeed."

With such flowery preening, you’d expect something as revolutionary as a pocket-sized, modern-day Tucker Torpedo, or as fresh and clean as the original flush-glass Audi 5000, or as elementally functional as Dr. Porsche’s original "people’s car," or perhaps something as futuristic and flashy as Chrysler’s 1957 "Forward Look" line.

But instead, what FoMoCo’s got for all its "unrestrained approach" is a generic-looking mishmash of current design cliches. It’s "very compelling" of a barf-bag.

Perhaps it’s not the "reaction" Mr. Fleming expects.

Certainly, designing a small car for an overly regulated world in the current climate of anti-carbon hysteria is a daunting task. Pressing function and flash into a shrunken footprint with economies-of-scale manufacturing practicality is almost like attempting to scale Mount Everest on a single energy bar while wearing a nylon windbreaker.

But it could be done. In theory.

The problem with the Verve is that "unrestrained" is apparently Ford-speak for uncreative cribbing from the bargain bin of today’s SUV/crossover-driven styling "language."

The Verve’s shape is that of a bloated, "two-box" egg, festooned with huge wheel arches at the corners. It evokes the same sort of generic impact as any similar Asian design.

It starts out with a massive, gaping, below-the-bumper trapezoidal inlet "mouth" (sans any of the shiny Fusion "razor blades" of American small Fords). The hideous, huge trapezoid is wider at the bottom than the top, yielding a harsh, furious and negative "face." This "anger" is further augmented by slashing, slanted headlight pod "eyes" of the current fashion. The light housings are "unrestrained" insofar as they appear pulled back toward the doors even further than current Asian practice -- as if the result of a bad facelift or being ripped back by a 200 m.p.h. gale.

So much for the "cheap and cheerful" school of small car design.

(Speedzzter wonders if the next "unrestrained" styling frontier is an entire front fender (wing) made from a headlamp cover . . . or maybe a slanted headlamp pod that flows back into the cowl or front doors . . . .)

The Verve’s "cheeks" are pockmarked with ordinary SVT/RS-style fog-lamp "dimples." Above the bumper is a narrow slit of an upper grille that seems to be lifted from the current WRC-leading Focus RS. A Ford oval bisects the upper grille’s nostrils. Absent that necessary brand awareness touch, nothing in the front clip suggests that the Verve is a Ford product or is anything but another forgettable Korean or Japanese subcompact.

In line with current practice, the Verve has a high "character line" which slashes upward to the rear, dividing the arched greenhouse from the solid parts of the egg-shell body. The character line's angle tips up higher at the tail end, reminding younger viewers of a Nissan SUV and older ones of the quarter windows on a 1968 Chevrolet Chevelle or a 1968 Ford Torino Sportsroof.

The steeply-raked windshield and the SUV-high cowl follow the chopped-top, "mail-slot" profile now in vogue. This makes the Verve's body seem taller and fatter than it probably is. But the side windows dip down below the cowl line in the front. This slightly expands the size of the front side windows to a "parcel slot" and reminds older viewers of the venerable 1980s Ford Fox-body window treatment (albeit with more slants and curves).

The egg-body is modified by a huge lower skirt (similar to the hastily-added running board covers of the 1940s) which provides the lower frame for a giant stylized vertical vent behind the front wheel arch. The upper vent border is a crease which follows below the beltline until parting company at the Chevelle-Torino flip-up. It’s nice, but nothing you haven’t seen on a score of Asian subcompacts.

The curved roof line of the greenhouse appears to "short-sheet" tall rear seat passengers (as is the current style-over-function practice). Either that, or the roof simply towers over the front seat. Given the apparent SUV-inspired height of the Verve’s profile, married to the Honda CRX-inspired egg sloped roof, it’s possible that the rear seat passengers might have almost enough headroom.

In short, the Verve strikes the wrong nerve. It appears to be another derivative, designed-by-committee assemblage of tired, current styling gimmicks.

Given all of the rehashed (recycled?) body lines, perhaps FoMoCo ought to tag it "RE-VERVE."

FUSION FUEL CELL SETS A SPEED RECORD

FoMoCo and Ohio State University packed a Ford Fusion with a trunk and back-seat full of experimental Ballard hydrogen fuel cell gear, all attached to a Ford GT transaxle driving the rear wheels (at least they got that part right). Then they named the 6,700 lb Hindenburg beast "999," in homage to Henry Ford’s primitive and brutal 1903 land-speed record holder.

Employing a claimed 770 Reddy Kilowatt horsepower, FoMoCo then ripped the Bonneville Salt flats with a 207.279 m.p.h. pass on August 16, 2007. FoMoCo’s PR scribes breathlessly claim that "Ford Fusion Hydrogen 999", is "the world’s first production-based hydrogen fuel cell race car."

Kudos to FoMoCo for recognizing Ford’s racing past in this current effort.

But it strains credibility (as well as the amateur spirit of the Bonneville Nationals) to claim that this exotic Fusion funny car is "production-based"). Moreover, it does nothing to allay the fears of Ford’s racing and motorsports enthusiasts that FoMoCo will eventually abandon grassroots motorsports in a pique of hyper-environmentalism.

At least FoMoCo didn’t let GM or Toyota beat them to the glory of the first speed record for this odd type of vehicle.

Of course, if in fifty years or so, if the unpaid sportsmen racers of Bonneville are battling it out in hydrogen-electric whips instead of good old internal combustion race cars, the 2007 Ford Fusion Hydrogen 999 will seem like a prophetic legend. Otherwise, it will be just another publicity stunt that help mark the end of an era in automobility.

Of more interest to enthusiasts is the "big block modular" "Boss" under the hood of a Roush development Mustang drag racer, as pictured in this month’s Hot Rod magazine . . . . And Let's all pray (HARD) that the rumors of a DOHC 6.2 liter "Twinforce" v8 in development are true . . . .