THE DAY NASCAR DIED

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March 9, 2008 . . . a date that will live in motorsports infamy.

March 9, 2008, is the date when Brian France’s plot to destroy American “stock car” racing and hand the cold, dead carcass over to the Japanese began to bear rotten fruit in the highest echelons of the sport.

March 9, 2008, is the day when the ersatz, “common-template” funnycar, powered by a never-production, never-sold-to-the-general public, purpose-engineered and built pushrod “Toyota” V8, garnered the first Sprint Cup win for the burgeoning, billions-of-Yen Toyota take-over of NASCAR.

Plenty of fans “dressed as empty seats” witnessed Kyle Busch -- possibly 2008's most unpopular non-Southerner to slide through a “common-template” window opening– and his traitorous teammate, scruffy Tony Stewart, wheel their hideous, Joe Gibbs “Toyota Camry [sic]” common-template funnycars to the top two spots at the Atlanta Motor Speedway in the 2008 Kobalt Tools 500 NASCAR Sprint Cup race.

Now it’s official.

There’s simply no reason for a red-blooded American who appreciates the storied traditions of Southern-style stock car racing to ever watch or attend a WWE -on-wheels NASCAR show ever again.

NASCAR has “jumped the shark” . . . and the shark is now a fine plate of overpriced sushi being served up in an air-conditioned luxury box to some golf-shirt wearing corporate hacks from Tokyo.

They might as well change the meaning of the NASCAR acronym to the Nippon Association of Schizoid Car Auto Racing.

Brian France -- who is quite possibly the best living argument for a 100% inheritance tax in America (perhaps second only to William Clay Ford, Jr.).-- has been trying for years to give NASCAR over to Toyota.

First, the moronic Brian France let Toyota make up a “clean sheet” pushrod NASCAR racing engine, learning from the best Ford Motor Company and others had taken years to develop.

Then the vapid Brian France allowed Toyota to become the dominant make in the Craftsman Truck Series, ruining whatever limited appeal that bogus “funnytruck” series ever had.

Then Brian-the-Buffoon countenanced Toyota’s concocting of a rear-wheel-drive, pushrod V8 powered “Toyota Camry” (that’s wholly unlike anything the Toyoda Automatic Loom Works, Ltd. and its successors ever sold to any consumer, anywhere, at any time, ever.)

Brian France, the latest patriarch of the dictatorial France family and the one who has killed or assisted in the killing many venerable Southern traditions, such as racing at the North Carolina Motor Speedway and on Labor Day in Darlington, South Carolina, at the Southern 500, as well as pushing full-throttle on the non-stock, “common-template” aesthetic abortion known as the “Car of Tomorrow,” apparently sees allowing huge superteams funded by millions and billions of dollars from Japan as the ultimate in progress for the formerly, all-American sport of “stock car” racing.

And the France family’s iron-handed monopoly on racing facilities that could theoretically support the birth of a new TRUE STOCK CAR series (i.e. racing of cars that the general public can actually purchase, just like when NASCAR began “strictly stock” competition 60 years ago), likely means that Brian France’s gift of the last major American motorsports series over to the Japanese will go mostly unabated.

(Note that already, due to Tony George’s idiotic Indy Racing League power grab, Indy/Champ Car racing is now exclusively powered by Honda).

The warning signs of the Toyota take-over have been gathering all season.

Toyota has dominated the lackluster warm-up days in the bush-league Nationwide Cup and the aforementioned Craftsman Truck mess. And “Shrub” Busch has been recklessly flinging around his horrendously ugly “common-template” “Toyota Camry [sic]” Sprint Cup funnycar like a crazed PCP addict.

(Of course, wild recklessness, along with a fair amount of fan hatred, is what many believe cost “Shrub” his ride with the Hendrick Chevrolet superteam)

And NASCAR tipped everyone to its growing fondness for all things Japanese when it heavily penalized the Roush-Fenway Ford team for a loose oil tank cover after Carl Edward’s win last week in Las Vegas, handing the season points lead over to a Toyota team for the first time ever.

Whether or not NASCAR gave Toyota and Gibbs “the Call” on March 9 will undoubtedly be the subject of debate for years. But from Speedzzter’s perspective, NASCAR has already given Toyota so many “calls” to bootstrap them to this point, that one more probably wasn’t necessary.

Of course, for traditionalists, the irony of Toyota’s “first big win” is that it was at Atlanta. Atlanta was the site of perhaps the greatest race in NASCAR history (and no, Dale Earnhardt didn’t win it).

The 1992 Hooters 500 probably was the pinnacle of the “modern era” of NASCAR, and likely for the foreseeable future.

In that storied race, owner-driver Alan Kulwicki took the NASCAR Winston Cup championship with his non-common-template Ford “Underbird” Thunderbird (which still featured a number of production-based body panels, an engine derived from parts Ford had at one time sold regular Joes in production cars, and had its drive wheels on the same end as the production Thunderbirds of the day).

Kulwicki battled Ford heros Bill Elliott (driving for Junior Johnson) and Davey Allison (driving for Holman-Moody alumnus Robert Yates) for the championship that day.

Also that day, the hated FoMoCo turncoat Jeff Gordon infamously started his first “Cup” race in a Hendrick Chevrolet and The King, Richard Pettydrove his last.

Petty, incidentally, drove Fords as a protest during the 1969 season and strongly lobbied hard for this boring, common-template mess decades later)

Kulwicki was the last owner-driver to win the championship.

Kulwicki was the last driver to win the championship who was not a member of a huge, factory-backed superteam.

And Kulwicki was the last driver to win a championship in a car that was not based (loosely) on a prosaic front-wheel-drive model converted to pushrod V8 power and rear-wheel-drive.

Of course, the old-fashioned, brutal oval layout that began in 1960 as Atlanta International Speedway and on which Kulwicki won the 1992 Winston Cup has now been turned into another bloated, boring, cookie-cutter “tri-oval.” (According to the Speedway’s website, “When the 1.5-mile track, then called Atlanta International Raceway, finally made its debut on July 31, 1960, it became the seventh superspeedway,a paved facility of one mile or more, to play host to a Cup race. Only three of the original seven; Darlington Raceway, Daytona International Speedway and Lowe's (then Charlotte) Motor Speedway are still in operation.”)

The little-guy owner/driver teams are all gone as well.

And there’s probably not one OEM production part left in the repugnant common-template funnycars that Brian France claims are the “cars of tomorrow” today.

And now, in the daze of huge corporate dominance, massive superteams with obscene budgets, sagging attendance and flat television ratings, Brian France’s little gift to Toyota is the final insult to true stock car-loving traditionalists.

Also ironic is that Toyota's racing arm is known as Toyota Racing Development or TRD -- which is exactly what a Toyota winning a NASCAR race is: A TRD.

Perhaps the old fans who are watching the weeds grow at North Wilksboro and Rockingham and recalling the Old NASCAR are seeing a better show these days. At least they have their memories . . . .

The NASCAR we knew is dead. Absolutely dead.

IS IT TIME FOR THE "NASCAR NATION" TO STOP COMPLAINING?

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Yesterday, Yahoo Sports blogger Jay Busbee picked up Speedzzter's "The Day NASCAR Died" entry on the "From the Marbles" blog.

The resulting explosion of blog traffic was much greater than from Speedzzter's political fare or posts about Ford Motor Company issues.

Thanks Jay and "From the Marbles."

Of course, the well-placed NASCAR paid propagandists are trying to pacify the natives of the so-called "NASCAR NATION," claiming that all's well or even better than ever.

For example, Turner's Joe Menzer, over at the NASCAR-restricted NASCAR.com website sings the praises of Toyota's sudden dominance in an attack piece clearly aimed at Jack Roush and Roush-Fenway Racing:

But to all those who say that this long-predicted and much-feared emergence of Toyota means the end to all that is sacred and good about NASCAR, it's time to say this: Grow up.

Menzer's screed (which could have been drafted either by Brian France's public relations rep or Toyota's TRD) is entitled "To deal with Toyota, stop complaining, go compete."

Of course, Menzer claims that Toyota's [not so] "long way to the top" is simply the product of good, old-fashioned 'Merican hard work.

But Menzer ignores virtually all of the legitimate criticisms about how the Brian France regime has stage-managed and bootstrapped Toyota's NASCAR trajectory. Because Jack Roush has been the most vocal critic among the elite and insular club of Sprint Cup owners, Roush is, unfairly, Menzer's villain.

However, Menzer's myopic "all is wonderful" view of the Toyota Cup . . . oops . . . Sprint Cup and the bush-league Nationwide and Craftsman Truck Series ignores that the status quo in NASCAR is wholly unsatisfactory to millions of "fully grown up" consumers who used to be in the stands or watching on TV.

Moreover, The obvious problem with the "go compete" canard is that unless one is willing to spend 100+ million dollars to snag a "factory deal" field a huge superteam (and then be prepared for NASCAR to give away, restrict or outlaw any non-production technology you might spend millions and millions to develop) there is "no competing" with Toyota's buy-out of NASCAR.

NASCAR didn't make Toyota build and sell to the general public what they wanted to race.

Instead NASCAR let Toyota (and Dodge) crib the best from Ford and GM's 40+ year investment in NASCAR as a baseline. And NASCAR gave Toyota (and Dodge) essentially the same aerodynamics with the hideous COT. Thus we have a freakish "common-template" non-production rear-wheel-drive pushrod/carbureted V8-powered "Toyota Camry" funnycars dominating in laps led, if not yet wins.

And Toyota's capture of Joe Gibbs Racing is disloyal, "checkbook racing" at its most shameful (not that Speedzzter would be complaining if Gibbs moved to Ford . . . .)

You could likely put all of the production-based parts on the NASCAR "Toyota Camry" in a large suitcase and still have plenty of room for a case of whatever Brian France must have been drinking when he concocted this disaster plan.

And all of the overpaid NASCAR shills are pushing this mess as some sort of Second Coming for the sport of "stock car" racing.

So should the "NASCAR NATION" just "grow up?" Just give up and go along with the path the France Family has dictated for us to follow?

No sale!

Sorry, but NASCAR's "gimme" to Toyota is another huge step down the road to the extinction of OEM production-car-based AMERICAN stock car racing.

At least there are still V8 Supercars racing in the Land of OZ, so there's a little something left for us old-fashioned "Walter Mitty" OEM production stock car fans to identify with.

And that indicates how disappointed and disgruntled NASCAR fans could "go compete:" By watching more relevant racing elsewhere. Or spending their time and money engaged in other motorsports activities. Such "starving of the Brian France Beast" is the sort of competition that would get NASCAR's attention.

Hopefully, some dangerous fans with paving equipment and other promoters that NASCAR has left behind will someday develop a production-based alternative to the Brian France COT circus -- an alternative which returns to real, OEM production "stock car racing" (with suitable safety systems added, of course)

Now that would be a real way to "go compete."

. . . An alternative which does not require 100-person teams or a million dollars per race to compete. An alternative that equalizes the "playing field" with production parts sold in the showroom, and not fabricated in the secret labs of superteams. . . .


Yahoo Sports NASCAR blog's Daily Dose column by Bob Margolis, asserted a different defense of the 2008 NASCAR season. He claims that the season in which NASCAR DIED has "shown all the signs of . . . being a classic year . . . ."

Margolis then gives ten reasons why and threw down a dare for NASCAR critics to proffer ten reasons why not. (Possibly Bob was standing down wind from where Goodyear was burning all of those "junk" tires that didn't get the Tony-Stewart-Stamp-of-Approval at Atlanta).

Several NASCAR traditionalists have responded. Of course "Truth With Speedzzter" is more than happy to pick up the gauntlet of a challenge . . . .

2008 is shaping up to be a dismal year for "NASCOT" because:

1. Too much "single file" riding instead of racing.

2. Too many "fans disguised as empty seats."

3. No "renewal" of the Southern 500 (again).

4. Too many "cookie cutter" 1.5 mile ovals on the schedule.

5. More overhyped Indy 500 winners riding around laps down at the back than at the Indy 500.

6. Tony's [Stewart's] brain and razor aren't working (Maybe ol' Smoke could stuff that Old Spice towel into his mouth).

7. The Wood Brothers keep missing the show. ]

8. Impending sell-out of Petty Enterprises.

9. Toyota dominance in an ugly "common-template," freakish "NASCAR" which has nothing to do with anything sold anywhere, in any showroom, to anybody, anywhere.

(not that any consumer would pay for something that looks like Bob-the-Builder mocked it up out of cardboard, plopped on a "tuner wing" and "splitter" from the Pep Boys, and slathered it with fake-looking "brand identification" decals).

10. No competitive single car teams.

11. Yates Racing #28 (Travis Kvapil) struggling on the pick-up-sponsor-of-the-week program.

12. "Rowdy" Busch is a wreck waiting to happen on nearly every lap.

13. The "24 hours of California."

14. Backmarker Dale Jarrett still hasn't retired.

15. Dale Jr.-- New team, new number, new driving suit . . . and same old losing streak.

16. Mark "Viagra" Martin -- still stroking around, but in a Chevy.

17. Jeff Gordon -- still hated as a gutless turncoat by Ford Racing fans, but still running better than he should be.

18. Still too much of shameless Toyota pitchmen the Waltrip Brothers on television.

19. Fox Gopher cam.

20. New Hampshire is still a boring death trap with two dates (thanks oldcorps116).

Bonus: BRIAN FRANCE . . . .

How's that list, Bob?

NECROTIC NASCAR 2009: THOUGHTS ON THE SPRINT CUP BANQUET

[Get the latest Truth With Speedzzter here]

One of Truth With Speedzzter's most popular posts is "The Day NASCAR Died" (see sidebar).

While the homgenized FunnyCar of Tomorrow, the plethora of "cookie cutter" race tracks, the loss of traditional venues, and the Toyota invasion have drained the life out of the sport formerly known as "stock car racing," a larger problem is the scripted, corporate ciphers driving the "NASCARS" in seemingly endless nose-to-tail succession around the tracks.

About 98% of the current NASCAR drivers are some of the most uninteresting automatons on the face of the Earth. And one of the few things worse that watching the mess that NASCAR has become on-track, is watching some "made-for-TV" spectacle off-track. One such waste-of-time was the 2009 NASCAR SPRINT CUP awards banquet.

Rebeldryver on Banghift.com put it succinctly:

Tried to watch Nascar awards show. I couldn't. Even more boring than Hollywood award shows. Same speeches by the drivers. Only difference is that they are wearing monkey suits instead of racing suits. Speed's coverage is about usual for a Nascar on Speed show.

Yup.

Too bad that "Think With Your Dipstick" guy (Not Tiger Woods, BTW) didn't come out to liven the thing up a tad.

Of course if he did, today's typical namby-pamby NASCAR celebrity driver wouldn't have decked the guy . . . but instead would have launched into another memorized listing of sponsors . . . .

"Well the ARMANI TUXEDO really absorbed the sting of that dipstick today at The WYNN LAS VEGAS HOTEL AND CASINO. And I've got to hand it to the LOWE'S CHEVROLET crew who got me dressed up and dialed in for tonight's NASCAR SPRINT CUP Banquet on SPEED. Those HAINES ALL-COTTON BRIEFS were really workin' too."

"And PRADA really gave me a good set of shoes for tonight's NASCAR SPRINT CUP Banquet on SPEED. . . . I was able to maneuver around and put my LOWE'S CHEVROLET keaster exactly where I wanted it on stage tonight." It really helped me collect my fourth consecutive NASCAR SPRINT CUP championship trophy for HENDRICK MOTORSPORTS, LOWE'S, QUAKER STATE, KOBALT TOOLS, THE NATIONAL GUARDand CHEVROLET."

"And Chad Knaus really made all the right calls to get me away from that crazy dipstick guy and get me back to the head table here at The WYNN LAS VEGAS HOTEL AND CASINO."

"And I'm sure that after a couple of cans of MONSTER ENERGY drink, some GOODY'S COOL ORANGE POWDERS, and another NASCAR drug test, we'll be ready just cash that $6.6 Million SPRINT CUP check and keep on diggin' for Number 5 . . . Could somebody get my man -- the 2009 Bill France Award of Excellence winner Rick Hendrick -- a KLEENIX and some VISINE eye drops?"