FORD’S NEW PLAN FOR LINCOLN: JUST SHUFFLING ON A SINKING SHIP
By Hydra.
Lincoln is dead.

Only Ford doesn’t know it yet. So they’ve announced the outline of a plan to take on Lexus with fewer dealers, concentrated almost exclusively in urban markets. Nearly 1000 dealers are getting pink-slipped.

However a Fox News story points to the manifold failures of Lincoln that make these dealer moves meaningless shuffling.

Right now, Lincoln's cheapest model, the MKZ mid-size sedan, starts at $34,330, which is $2,000 more than a Lexus IS and a few hundred more than a Mercedes C-Class. Lincoln also has no sporty models like Cadillac's CTS-V coupe and no rear-wheel-drive offerings [except the long-neglected, unadvertised, underpowered Town Car that’s getting canned in August 2011], which some luxury drivers prefer for their handling and acceleration.

Just as with the emerging Police Interceptor debacle, Ford’s product bosses expect a MKT "Katy" wagon to pick up the slack in Ford’s lucrative "black car" and airport limousine fleet business.

(Ford photo)
Dream on.

Lincoln’s decline into irrelevance is emblematic of America’s loss of elegance and competitiveness. That the marque which once offered the incredible, true-classic K-series, the groundbreaking original Continental, the Carerra Panamerica-winning Lincoln Capri, and the luxurious Continental Mark II has been reduced to selling over-stuffed Ford Fusions and Edges under an alphabet soup of meaningless initials is evidence of how far America has fallen in the world.

Simply put, without any V8s, turbodiesels, or rear wheel drive, Lincoln is uncompetitive. While the coming Corporate Average Fuel Economy standards will put heavy pressure on all luxury marques, Lincoln goes into this tumultuous period with a weak reputation and a thin slate of almost badge-engineered products.

Certainly Lincoln builds some well-padded, gentile, near-luxury models. But none of them are milestone vehicles. They’re neuters. They’re automotive metrosexuals. They’re lukewarm tea. They’ll all be soon forgotten.

Until Lincoln restocks the product pipeline with prestigious, world-class performers, it will remain a distant also ran.

Just imagine if Lincoln dropped a Coyote V8 into a suitably luxurious, high-performing RWD chassis. Just imagine if Lincoln melded EcoBoost and electric hybrid technology with DOHC V8 power. Just think about what would happen if Lincoln benchmarked Autobahn and Nurburgring leaders instead of shooting for rental-car-fleet FWD snoozers laden with needless gadgets.

Just don’t count on it happening. The bean counters won’t let it. Alan Mulally doesn't "get it."

Under the current platform-cutting Ford mentality, don’t expect any legitimate moves on the product side that will truly correct Lincoln’s flabby reputation and woefully deficient product offerings.

And don’t expect Lincoln to be competitive with athletic brands such as BMW, Mercedes or even Cadillac anytime soon.

SAY IT AIN'T SO! '60s BAT MOBILE (R) REPLICA: POWERED BY CHEVY.

By Cammie

A company named "Fiberglass Freaks" in Logansport, Indiana is building licensed Batmobile (r) replicas, according to an eBay listing and a news report.

The Fox News NY report claims that the nearly nineteen-foot-long replicas are based on a "1970s Lincoln Town Car." The eBay listing says that at least "1966 BATMOBILE® Replica DC001" will be poweredby a "GM 350 crate engine."

Of course the campy original 1960s "batsled" was George Barris' reinterpretation of Lincoln's Futura showcar. It packed a massive Lincoln V8. Studio duplicates were reportedly based on then-late-model Ford Galaxies.

To waste the dwindling supply of 1970s Town Cars and then defile them with uber-boring, belly-button-common small block Chevy engines is just plain wrong.

However, at an M.S.R.P. of a reported $150,000.00, there's probably not very many people that will be styling like Adam West anytime soon. And we can all be thankful for that!

And before everybody gets in a clinch and starts suing us, Batmobile (r) is a registered trademark of DC Comics. It and all of the other trade and service marks appearing in this blog are the property of their owners. They are not affiliated in any way with "Truth with Hydra and Cammie" and are used herein under the "fair use doctrine." (At least that's the way that grouchy legal aid lawyer scribbled it down on the Post-it (tm) Note).