FORD'S WOODWARD DREAM SNOOZE

The annual Woodward Dream Cruise is the largest single-day automotive event in the world.

It celebrates the golden era of Motown through revival of cruising Woodward Avenue across Detroit's legendary northern suburbs. The venerated vehicles are mostly Detroit "dream machines" and muscle cars of the 1950s and 1960s, along with some hot rods, sports cars and just about any sort of historic automobile of interest to enthusiasts. It's also a huge stage for what's left of the Detroit 3 to show a bit of marketing swagger in support of current products.

But Saturday, August 19th, Ford Motor Company (tm) intends something a little different.

According to the Automotive News, FoMoCo's "Bold Move" is to "rip the strip" with a Ford Focus FCV powered by an electric fuel cell that runs on gaseous hydrogen!

No thumping engine sounds . . . no "throwing revs" at the "short" in the next lane . . . no tire-shreding "jackrabbit" starts . . . no popping the hood for the troops while "gassing up" at the corner SUNOCO (the only hydrogen station is miles away, back in Dearborn) . Just water vapor silently fogging from the modest tailpipe of a rental car-styled sedan.

So that's the future of "cruising?"

Huh! Some . . . "future."

"She's real fine, my HYDR-O-G-H-I-I-I-N-E . . . . "

"And she'll have fun, fun, fun, 'till Daddy takes th' fuel cell away . . . "

Thankfully, a completely fuel-cell-powered "Woodward Dream Snooze" is decades off. Even FoMoCo admits that its fuel cells aren't ready for prime-time, despite having racked up about 250,000 test miles.

But some how FoMoCo expects this "PC" publicity stunt to resonate in a defiant culture built on converting petroleum (and sometimes alcohol) into asphalt-ripping acceleration, ear-rattling noise, and smoking rubber.

It makes about as much sense as showing up with former NHTSA chief Joan Claybrook or Ralph Nader at an NSRA street rod meet. Or riding an electric moped to Sturgis.

Just don't park it next to any muscle cars . . . .

MAZDA MIATA GOES POWER RETRACTABLE

In the 1950s, Ford borrowed the idea for a retractable hardtop convertible from the 1937 Peugeot Eclipse, electrified it and brought it to main street, U.S.A.

Although the highly-complicated Ford Skyliner only lasted three model years (1957-1959), it apparently made a huge impression on future auto engineers the World over.

Several retractibles have entered production in recent years. And FoMoCo affiliate Mazda intends to join in the fun with a power retractable version of the Mazda MX-5 "Miata."

At least some Miata owners will have a new gadget to play with while ignoring that 260 h.p. Pontiac Solstice GXP reving in the next lane. And with the top up, maybe the Miata will be quiet enough to contemplate the rapturous joys of motoring in a "fuel cell" Miata . . . someday . . . .

Ironic that the company which built the first mass-produced retractable hardtop doesn't offer one for its namesake brand.

Of course, there's similar irony when one contemplates FoMoCo's lack of available and affordable V8 power in its mainstream mass-market sedans.

Both are market segments that FoMoCo invented, yet no longer fields any entries in under the Ford nameplate.